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May 19, 2008

Bush gives up golf to support troops; Singh taken to Guantanamo Bay as possible terrorist sympathizer

WASHINGTON, DC - Coming days after President Bush declared that he had given up golf to show his solidarity with US troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, champion golfer Vijay Singh was arrested for "suspicion of supporting terrorists" and reportedly shipped to the government's Guantanamo Bay detention facility.

Singh was seen being led away from the driving range at the TPC Sawgrass course near Atlanta by several men in dark suits and into a white, unmarked van. PGA Tour officials would not comment on Singh's disappearance, but Singh's Web page on the PGATour.com Web site has been ominously marked "DNP" for the rest of the season.

White House spokesperson Dana Perino would not confirm or deny reports of Singh's detention at the notorious US military base located in Cuba, citing "national security interests."

"All I can say is that when we are at war, anyone living in the United States should follow the lead of the President," Perino said. "Clearly, if someone were to continue to do something that the President, in his infinite wisdom, has personally decided to not do out of respect for the troops, then I would think there would be reason to question if they are providing comfort and perhaps aid, to terrorists."

This would be especially true, Perino said, if said person were dark-skinned, and from a far-away country such as Fiji that may or may not have a significant Muslim population.

"I don't know much about Fiji, but I know that it's in the Pacific Ocean, and so was Bali and we all know what kinds of terrorist activities they have there," Perino said.

Tiger Woods released a statement through Nike in response to Singh's disappearance and possible detention. In the statement, he expressed sympathy for Singh's family but said he did not want to speculate on Singh's possible ties to terrorism. He also said that his recent knee surgery was not healing as well as previously hoped for, and that he might not be able to play golf "until some point on or after January 20, 2009 at the earliest."

Posted by The Duke of Everything

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