What Not to Watch: 10/31

Because hiding razor blades in candy apples requires too much concentration to try to do while watch bad sports programming on TV.(All time Pacific.)

• College Basketball Exhibition: Quincy @ Illinois (6 p.m., Big Ten Network) - Tonight on Quincy: was it an "accidental" car crash, or was it something more sinister? Quincy gets to the bottom of things by hanging out on his houseboat and checking out hot girls in bikinis for skin cancer while Sam gets stuck doing the real work.
• 19th Hole (Golf Channel, 6:30 p.m.) - A half-hour of John Daly getting drunk, eating beer peanuts and playing the Tri Towers game at the Touchmaster 3000 machine at the end of the bar.
• Best Damned Sports Show Period: Halloween Special (FSN, 8 p.m.) - Watch as John Salley sets a bag of flaming dog poop on the doorstep of former host Tom Arnold. Hilarity ensues!
• Classic Bull Riding: 2005 PRCA Extreme Bulls (ESPN Classic, 8 p.m.) - These are regular bulls, these are EXTREME!!! Remember, this is 2005, before they started testing bulls for Vault Energy Drink.
• NBA Developmental League Pre-Draft Show (NBATV, 9 p.m.) - I know there's been a lot of debate on who the Colorado 14ers will select first: Trey Johnson or Curtis Sumpter. Actually, even Mel Kiper Jr. thinks a pre-draft show for what is essentially the NBA's minor league is a crock of crap.
  

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 2:12 PM 0 comments  

NBA Regular Season Starting is a Shock to Everyone

I was going to do this as a fake news story, but the more I've been thinking about this, the more I think it deserves it's own, serious post. The NBA regular season started last night with a full slate of games. Seriously. If you're like me, this was a huge surprise, since there was relatively no fanfare for it in the days leading up to last night. (TBS did a 350 percent better job of informing me about Frank TV - which premieres on Nov. 20, if you didn't know - during the MLB playoffs than the NBA or its broadcast partners did letting me know about the start of the regular season.)

Did you have any trouble remembering when Opening Night was for the NFL? No, of course you didn't - they've turned it into a national holiday and extravaganza, complete with live elephants, half-naked women on the trapeze, Dangerous Dan Fillipi on the Roundabout of Death, and Peyton Manning. Complain about the length of the preseason all you want, but every game builds to Opening Night. Even MLB does a better job of making a big deal out of the Opening Night. The NBA? It's seemingly weeks of Summer Leagues and exhibition games in Bakersfield, and then suddenly WHAMMO, this game counts.

Part of me wants to say that this was just general bungling on the part of the NBA. What used to be the most well-oiled PR machine has sprung more leaks than a destroyer at Pearl Harbor (when the Germans attacked). From refs on the take, to rampant sexual harassment taking place at one of the league's premiere franchises, to general fan disinterest in the game, it's been a rough year. I guess it would be easy for the league to, you know, forget to publicize that regular season games have started.

But I think there's something bigger going on here. I think Commissioner David Stern knows that this was a lousy last year, and that any hyping of Opening Night would lead to the inevitable story with a lead something like: "Looking to rebound from an off-season filled with scandal and embarrassment, the NBA regular season tips off tonight with..." And you could expect more column inches in that story devoted to recapping each negative issue the league is dealing with than spent on forecasting the season.

So what the solution? Go under the radar. Get the regular season started quietly, so that the timeliness of those "NBA in trouble" stories is lost. By the time anyone realizes the regular season has started, it's too late for the press to pile on, since they'll have to spend their time actually covering games.

You have to admire David Stern for pulling this off. Unless, of course, this was all a big screw-up.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:00 AM 0 comments  

The Handicapabling Challenge Week 1 Review

I went 3-2 with my picks from last week. Which I'm happy with - 3-2 means that I won money (in theory). Of course, my 10-Star ACC Lock of the Year - Virginia Tech over BC - crapped out. But, I'm up on fknmclane by one game after the first week, and really that's what matters.

Along with the above-mentioned game, my other loss was picking the NY Giants over Miami. The Giants won, but they didn't come close to covering the 9 1/2 point spread. Looking back, I should have known better. I broke one of my cardinal rules of sports handicapping, especially football: don't bet on a favorite if they have a lousy offense. You're asking them to not only win, but win by several points. If teams have lousy offenses, then there are going to be a lot of one and two-point games.

And it's not like it's a surprise that Tech's offense stunk - I said so much in the preview. And asking the Giants to beat anyone by 10? Even Miami? I should have had my head examined after choosing that.

As for this week, games are being reviewed, information is being poured over, and tarot cards are being shuffled.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 9:50 AM 0 comments