If you didn't catch it yet, members of the Chicago Bulls voted unanimously to bench rookie Joakim Noah for Sunday's game against Atlanta Hawks following a confrontation with assistant coach Ron Adams. A few thoughts:
- It's good to see that his Bulls teammates hate Noah as much as the rest of the civilized world does. Who says that NBA players are out of touch with the rest of society? If we can all agree that Joakim Noah is about as hateable as Puppy Cancer, then maybe there is a chance for society at large.
- I can't believe that this the same Ron Adams who took over from semi-legend Boyd Grant at Fresno State and proceeded to run that program into the ground? It just doesn't seem possible that someone that incompetent as a head coach at a mid-major college could then go find job after job in the NBA. (It must be his steady, creepy pose.)
- Most importantly, the players get to vote on benching people now? I know that the Bulls have an interim head coach, so maybe he doesn't have quite the power that an actual head coach would have. But this just seems nuts to me. I know that a lot of teams have "kangaroo courts" that issues verdicts on disputes amongst players in order to keep things in-house. But voting on benching players?
Of course, then I was leaked information from a source deep inside the Bulls organization letting me know that the punishment of rookie players is not the only thing the Bulls voted on during that meeting:
- Bill requiring that equipment staff switch to environmentally-friendly laundry detergent passed, 10-5.
- Bill asking that Loul Deng's mother come by one night and cook up some "delicious Chinese food, like that Orange Chicken they have at Panda Express" passed, 14-1.
- Subsequent resolution recognizing that Loul Deng is in fact from the Sudan and not anywhere in Asia, despite what everyone continues to think, fails to pass committee.
- Bill stating that Lou Malnati's is a clearly superior pizza place to Giordano's passes, 8-7, after a contentious, 90-minute debate.
- Resolution presented by Mr. Wallace to make sure the new regime knows that it should be OK to wear headbands during games, especially if someone has done so their whole lives, passes 12-3.
- Motion to give 100 percent effort against the Hawks to prove to "that punk kid" that they don't need him failed unanimously.
- Bill authorizing the team to go to a strip club with lots of cash and several questionable hangers-on at 3 a.m. as a "team bonding" experience - WITHOUT JOAKIM NOAH! - to forget about that night's upcoming loss passes 14-0 (Kirk Hinrich abstains because he has to go to Bible Study or some shit like that.)
