Brian Scalabrine is an idiot

First, please watch this video:



Now, I'm sure you're asking "who the hell is Brian Scalabrine"? Well, he's a back-up forward for the Celtics known more for being a "good luck charm" by riding an exercise bike when the Celtics are rallying than anything he's done on the court. While playing with the Nets earlier in his career, he distinguished himself by forgetting to wear his shorts underneath his sweats, a fact he only realized after he was surprised to find himself actually called into a game and started to remove his pants. Whoops.

And oh, yeah, he went to USC. So did Gabe Pruitt. So, congrats to them, although I did about as much to earn a championship ring as they did.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 6:13 PM 0 comments  

Earthquake felt across Southland attributed to Laker fans ripping flags off of cars

LOS ANGELES - Cal Tech researchers reported that a massive earth movement that registered 4.3 on the Richter scale Tuesday night was not an earthquake as previously thought, but the result of hundreds of thousands of small Laker flags being thrown to the ground in disgust after the team's series-clinching 131-92 defeat by the Boston Celtics in Game 6 of the NBA Finals.

The jolt was felt by people as far north as Merced and as far east as Phoenix at 8:54 p.m. Pacific time. Cal Tech researchers admitted that they were puzzled by the event.

"Of course, your first reaction is that this must be an earthquake, but it became apparent quickly from the data that there was no epicenter and in fact the impact was felt equally across the area," said Lucy Davis, a seismologist at Cal Tech. "It wasn't until we left the lab for the evening and saw the streets littered with hundreds of suction-cupped Lakers flags with tire tracks on them that we were able to piece this together."

Davis warned that something similar to aftershocks could be expected over the next few days, caused by Laker fans simultaneously slamming their garage doors as they put remaining Laker flags away for the next 11 months.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 6:01 PM 1 comments