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Feb 6, 2008

US vs. Mexico - Lou Dobbs Approves of this Rivalry

Tonight, another edition of the greatest rivalry in US sports takes place. And I'm not talking about Duke vs. North Carolina - like most "great rivalries," it's regionally based - it's something that is huge in a certain part of the country, but much less so outside of there. (i.e. New York vs. Boston in anything.) No, I'm talking about a rivalry that sparks nationalistic pride, fervor, anger, bitterness and usually quite a bit of spilled blood. I'm talking about the US vs. Mexico in soccer.

Sure, tonight's game in Houston is technically just a "friendly" with nothing on the line but pride. But for this rivalry, that's enough. We talk a lot about how much two teams "just don't like each other" all the time, but the truth is that they are all professional athletes with the same agents, who go to the same functions and parties and strip clubs, and half of each team was probably teammates with half of the other team at some point.

Not so with the US vs. Mexico. These two teams really don't like each other. The fans don't like each other. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if the ball boys come to blows at some point.

Here's a nice video summary of the rivalry to get you pumped up for tonight:



The nature of the rivalry is such that it actually makes me like Landon Donovan a little bit more. Now, I have a very love/hate relationship with Landy Cakes. Frankly, he's the most infuriating soccer player to follow. He's an incredibly gifted player who doesn't want to lead, which is why he was the perfect person to be the second banana to David Beckham on the Galaxy. He tried to go over to Germany to play - a move which would have raised the level of his play immensely - but came back after a few months because it was too hard, and he was "more comfortable" playing in the MLS. He can disappear in big games (i.e. the entire 2006 World Cup). In short, he's a role player when the US desperately needs him to be a leader.

Except for against Mexico. Landon Donovan hates the Mexican team and its fans, and the feeling is mutual. He lives for beating them. If we could convince him that every team he plays against is the Mexican National Team, he would be one of the top players in the world.

And you know who has two thumbs and hates the Mexican National Team? This guy! (Note: I'm pointing my thumbs at myself as I type, which is no easy feat.) And for me, it's personal.

In theory, I should have a soft spot for the Mexican team, since I'm a quarter Mexican myself (my grandmother on my dad's side was born in Aguascalientes, Mexico, and came to this country in the 1930s). I live in Los Angeles, so I'm around Latino culture all the time. I'm a good liberal and normally support a humane, rational immigration policy. In fact, SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE MEXICAN!!!

So what happened? Well, I went to the 1998 Gold Cup finals against Mexico at the Coliseum in Los Angeles with my wife. On Valentine's Day. In fact, this was her present to me: the US had shocked Brazil in the semifinals, and she knew how excited I was about that. So, despite not being a soccer fan, she got us two tickets to see a fun, friendly game.

Of course, we didn't get to see the whole game, out of fear for our lives. And I'm not exaggerating. The stadium seats about 95,000 for soccer, and it was sold out. We were probably one of about 3,000 US fans, scattered through a sea of Tricolores. (Thanks to it being run by CONCACAF and not US soccer, they didn't keep the US fans together like usually happens.) We were the enemy in our own stadium (literally - I hadn't graduated from USC that long ago), and chum in the water.

Personally, I was the object of several missiles from above, including a cup of what I hope was beer and not piss, and a giant (and I mean giant) nacho cheese container that probably would have knocked me out cold if it had hit my head and not my shoulder. And a lot of people wanting to fight. All this for a) being a US soccer fan in Los Angeles and b) having the audacity to cheer and have a US flag. As for the team, along with boos drowning out the national anthem, pretty much any corner kick was a chance for Mexican fans to hurl anything they could grab onto the field and at the hapless US player trying to take a corner. It was insane. People had snuck flare guns through security, and were firing them into the crowd at random times. I shudder to think what else made it through the Coliseum's crack security.

After finally giving up and leaving at halftime in order to, you know, not get rendered limb from limb by the crowd, the liberal part of my brain was clashing with what just happened. I didn't want to be Pat Buchanan. But, how could people who move to this country (legally or not) and take advantage of all the freedoms and opportunities here then show up and basically piss on America for two hours. I found myself saying things like "if they hate America so much, they can leave," which always sounded awful coming from someone else. But there I was saying it, and believing it.

Years later, and I think I'm a little more savvy to the social reasons behind everything. Mexicans in America use these games as a chance to vent and get out all of their repressed anger at every slight and stupid, boorish thing any gringo has every done to them. I get that. But it still doesn't make me feel any better about how they act, or what they think is acceptable fan behavior. And frankly, it probably pisses the Mexican part of me off a little bit to see Mexicans acting like that - as someone who wants to have pride in my heritage, it's embarrassing. Mexican soccer fans are to me like that one uncle who always gets a little too drunk at family parties and starts hitting on his niece's 22 year-old friends.

One of the sporting highlights of my life was watching the US knock Mexico out of the 2002 World Cup, and then driving around LA with my friend, yelling choice invectives at any Mexican soccer fan I saw coming out of a bar with a "boo hoo" look on his face. It was crass, juvenile and totally beneath me. And I loved every second of it.

Bonus for tonight: ESPN has finally wised up and revamped their announcing team. Out goes play-by-play man and embarrassment to American soccer fans Dave "Christian Ronaldo" O'Brien and Jim Rome's best friend Eric Wynalda, and in comes veteran soccer announcer JP Dellacamera and John Harkes. A soccer game announced by someone who actually knows soccer? Crazy.

Posted by The Duke of Everything 2 comments

BallHype: hype it up!

Dear Shaq...

Seeing as though you'll be moving to the Phoenix area sometime very soon, I thought I would go out of my way to help with the relocation process by helping you get acclimated to your new city and letting you know exactly where you can find your essential items for daily living. Knowing your habits, I'm sure you'll be glad to know that chili cheese nachos for 99 cents can be found a short drive from anywhere in the Phoenix area. You can rest easy now.

Best wishes,
The Duke of Kickball


P.S. - Good luck getting up and down the court with the running Suns! I have visions of the fat, middle-aged guy who decides to "cherry pick" every other basket in a pick-up game because he's too out of shape to play full-court.

Posted by The Duke of Everything 0 comments

BallHype: hype it up!