Handicapabiling Challenge Week 4 Picks

I'm so discombobulated from last night that I don't even want to do these stupid picks. Plus I have to drink a shot of Sriracha this weekend. So I'm going to let McLane intro this week's picks:

McLane:

If I weren't such a stupid homer I'd have gone 5-0 last week. 4-1 and not having to do a shot of Sriracha is a good feeling, but 5-0 would have been unbelievably sweet. I have a feeling this will be a good weekend again. Don't touch me, you'll get burned.

I'm excited for this weekend's slate of games. My only disappointment is that the frauds from my alma mater aren't playing this weekend. I'd love to pick against the Devils. My grandmother can cover a swing pass better than that. She'd at least make some adjustments. Assholes.

The loser this week will need to pay up by eating some potted meat product.

Colorado +5 1/2 at FLORIDA STATE

I understand the 'Noles are the home team here but let's face it. Dan Hawkins' team is better than Bobby Bowden's. I'll take the points and the up and coming program.

Colorado State +26 1/2 at CALIFORNIA

We get to bet against a Pac-10 team favored by nearly four touchdowns? Sign me up.

Fresno State -7 1/2 at UCLA

The Bruins are the gift that keeps on giving this year. I L-O-V-E UCLA

Alabama +7 at GEORGIA

That Nick Saban. He's so hot right now.

PENN STATE -16 vs Illinois

JoePa's Nittany Lions are stupid good this year. Good enough to push Ohio State aside and sneak into the BCS Championship.'

The Duke:

I'm really not thrilled about that Sriracha burning through me this weekend. I'm also not thrilled that I think there are some shenanigans going on with McLane's payoff from his Week 2 loss.

AUBURN -7 vs. Tennessee

I'm still doubtful at asking Auburn to score seven points during any game this season, but Tennessee is as terrible as their coach is fat. Big Phil needs another nail in his coffin, and Auburn's going to give it to him.

GEORGIA -7 vs. Alabama

I keep getting burned by betting against Alabama, but the law of averages says it's going to work at some point. And Knowshon Moreno sure as hell can help tip that law of averages in your favor.

Wisconsin -6 at MICHIGAN

The Badgers went to Fresno State and took out the Bulldogs. You mean to tell me that they can't take care of the Wolverines on the road? I know comparative reasoning sucks, but Fresno has to be a tougher place to win at than Michigan right now, right?

Purdue +1 at NOTRE DAME

I get to pick against Notre Dame, and I get a point? Let me take out a second mortgage on this one.

New Mexico -3 at NEW MEXICO STATE

I know that anything can happen in a rivalry game - I was in Albuquerque for this game once, and the streets were wild. Well, wild for Albuquerque, meaning not very wild at all. The Lobos roll - plus, NMSU head coach Hal Mumme is a dirty, cheating coach who can't even be all that successful.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 4:53 PM 0 comments  

USC: Epic Fail

This is what the perspective of having a kid does for you. A couple of years ago, I would have tried to punch out a wall if USC had an epic failure like last night against Oregon St. At the very least, I would have drank enough during and after the game to think that the wall was getting lippy with me, and totally had it coming.

But I didn't get mad. Hell, I didn't even watch the second half: I was so disgusted about the game that I went out to get pizza with the family and some friends, listening to the game on radio in spurts. I also hoped that by not watching, I could change the team's luck around somehow, because I am a weak and stupid man who falls back on superstition when things aren't going well.

The thing is, it's more than just a better perspective on life that's making me feel "meh" about the loss. It's getting to the point that this is just what I expect from USC at some point during the season: a jaw-droppingly bad loss against a team that the Trojans should throttle. It what the team does.

As I mentioned in my Speed Read post at SPORTS by BROOKS earlier today, this is all on Pete Carroll, If any other coach had his track record of failing against lesser teams, there would be a lot more criticism than whatever Teflon Pete is going to get. And he should get a lot of heat: after Stanford last season, there's no excuse for a USC team to ever overlook an opponent - and that's exactly what happened.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 8:42 AM 0 comments