Handicapable Challenge Week 3: Part II

Who would have thought that 5-5 after two weeks would be so much better than my colleague, Mr. 2-8. Yikes. A couple of more weeks of .500 picks and I can pretty much wrap this bad boy up. We are the AFC West of sports handicapping, and I am the Chargers.

Michigan St. @ Purdue (-4): Fact A: Michigan St. head coach Mark Dantonio might be losing his mind. Fact B: Although he would never admit it, Purdue head coach Joe Tiller is probably pretty pissed that Mark Mangino is getting all of the "fat coach with a mustache" praise. Fact C: Michigan St. has only covered the spread in nine of their last 29 games. That's good enough for me.

Pick: Purdue (-4)

Fresno St. @ Hawaii (-17): If Hawaii wants any chance of jumping into the Top 12 and securing an automatic BCS title berth, they need to not only keep winning but keep running up the score on people. And I'm not sure if people outside of the Central Valley (my home area) know this or not, but I'll let you in on a little secret: Pat Hill is a very overrated coach. This is precisely the type of game where the Bulldogs don't show up and get killed by 30.

Pick: Hawaii (-17)

Virginia @ Miami (-3.5): Wait, let me get this straight. Virginia is 8-2, and Miami is 5-4 while having played some really, really ugly football. I know it's a home game for Miami and the last at the OB, but THEY AREN'T GOOD AT ALL. I guess Kyle Wright starting instead of Kirby Freeman (he of the 1-14, 3 INT game last week) helps...a little. It's not like Kyle Wright is Johnny Unitas or anything.

Pick: Virginia (+3.5)

Buffalo @ Miami (+2.5): (note: NFL version of Miami and Buffalo, not the NCAA teams.) Teams like the Bills get to be .500 not because they are really all that great, but because they do two things well: they play pretty good defense, and they use that to get close wins against lousy teams with lousier offenses. Hello Dolphins!

Pick: Buffalo (-2.5)

Denver @ Kansas City (-3): You think I'm going to get away from betting against Denver now? So far this season, it's been like a license to print money. Until proven otherwise...

Pick: Kansas City (-3)

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 1:57 PM 0 comments  

Kentucky Fans Demand Minnesota Fire Tubby Smith After Stunning Upset

LEXINGTON, KY - In the hours following Kentucky's stunning 84-68 home loss to lightly-regarded Gardner-Webb on Wednesday night, Wildcats fans took to the airwaves, the Internet and even the streets to demand that Minnesota fire coach Tubby Smith.

Despite the fact that Smith had left Kentucky in the off-season to take the head coaching job with the Golden Gophers, many Wildcats fans said that Smith needed to be held accountable for Kentucky's shocking performance.

"I spent 10 years watching Tubby Smith ruin the history and legacy of Kentucky basketball," said Myron Martin, who was part of an impromptu rally outside of Rupp Arena following the game. "
You would have thought that firing him would be enough, but apparently even that couldn't stop him from messing up our team."

Internet message boards were aflame throughout the early-morning hours with calls for Minnesota to fire Smith. One poster, known as DeepBlue69, stated that "if Minnysota (sic) ain't gonna do it, then we'll git a hunting party to go to Canada and do it ourself!"

Smith refused to comment on the loss other than stating that he "felt bad" for the players he had recruited. However, several sources reported seeing Smith at area bars late Wednesday night in a jovial mood.

"I haven't seen him this excited in years," said an unnamed friend who was with Smith last night. "He was buying shots for total strangers as long as they helped him sing the Gardner-Webb fight song. Although I'm not 100 percent sure that he even knew what the Gardner-Webb fight song is - I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't include the line 'And Kentucky fans can fuck each other with broken Coke bottles.'

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:38 AM 2 comments