So this weekend, legendary golf instructor Butch Harmon quit as John Daly's swing coach after a series of events that led Harmon to exclaim that "the most important thing in his life is getting drunk." In the interest in letting Harmon in on a few things, I'd like to point out to him a few other things that are the "most important things" in some other people's lives. Like, the most important thing...
in Matt Leinart's life is having sex with a bevy of hot coeds...
in Shaquille O'Neal's life is AM/PM hot dogs...
in Scrooge McDuck's life is swimming in a pool of gold coins...
You get the idea.
To recap the story, during a rain delay in the first round of the PODS Championship (don't ask, it's a terrible sponsor name for a tournament), Daly spent 2 1/2 hours at the Hooters corporate tent behind the 17th green. Presumably, he wasn't drinking diet Cokes and eating M&Ms. After play resumed, he decided it would be fun to have his good buddy, Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden, caddy for him. Shockingly, he would up shooting a 77 and followed that up with an 80 to miss the cut by roughly one bazillion strokes. However, if he was broken up about it, he didn't show it on Saturday, as he was signing various female body parts and getting hammered at the Hooters "Owl's Nest" at the tournament.
Oh, that wacky John Daly. Always getting into trouble! He's just a big ol' country boy who loves beer, women and golf, and probably in that order. He's like a walking Skoal ad. Wouldn't it be great if more golfers had a little bit of John Daly in him?
But here's the thing...
John Daly can get drunk during the actual playing of a competition, and he's a lovable redneck. But Pac-Man Jones likely won't be playing football this year, or any time soon, even though he hasn't been convicted of any crimes, merely of making stupid mistake after stupid mistake? You can't convince me that there is no connection between the public perception of the two and their race. More specifically, the neat stereotype that each athlete falls into: John Daly is the big, dumb redneck who is a train wreck but harmless (like Billy Carter), while Pac-Man Jones is the big scary black man who is going to sleep with and possibly kill your blonde, white women (like O.J. Simpson).
Obviously, race isn't the whole story here. Pac-Man Jones was suspended indefinitely by the NFL after a series of issues that involved guns and people being paralyzed. John Daly mainly gets drunk and makes an ass of himself (and maybe gets into fights with his wife of the moment that leaves her in jail and him with giant scratch marks on his face at the first tee). And as my wife pointed out tonight, the PGA Tour doesn't have to worry about John Daly becoming the harbinger for the actions of the rest of the players on tour - he's clearly an isolated exception to the rule. Meanwhile, the NFL is desperate to make sure that their league doesn't turn into the NBA (i.e. a league full of "gangstas" and thugs) in the eyes of the fans, and will do anything to stop it.
As for Gruden, his half-day as a caddy was well-received by the local media. See, John Daly's not a drunk with a gambling problem and a mean temper. He's a "colorful character"! I think the media would have been less sympathetic if Gruden had been spotted around town with Pac-Man Jones at Tampa Bay's finest Gentlemen's establishment. (And shouldn't he be spending less time hauling bags for John Daly and more time trying to figure out when Tampa Bay has approximately 18 quarterbacks on their roster, none of whom are any good?)
