Former New England Patriots assistant Matt Walsh today found a tape of the Rams' pre-Super Bowl XXXVI walk through on his entertainment stand, leading him to wonder if he accidentally sent a porn tape to the NFL by mistake.
"I remember I had the Super Bowl tape on the entertainment stand, and then I swear I put it in the envelope the next morning," Walsh said. "But then later that night, about 1 a.m., I decided to unwind from all the stress with some, um, 'adult entertainment'. Did I take that tape out of the VCR in put it in the envelope, thinking it was the Super Bowl tape? Fuck."
Walsh spent the majority of the morning going through his adult film collection to see if any frequent films were missing after discovering the Super Bowl tape. He was dismayed to learn that a favorite adult film entitled "Rammed and Jammed 4" could not be located, even after a vigorous search.
"I had a date over the other day, so I did a 'porn sweep' and hid everything I had out," Walsh said. "I checked all of my usual hiding places - under my bed, my spare golf bag, the guitar case I have that doesn't have a guitar - and it wasn't there. Did I see the phrase 'rammed' on the label and get confused? Shit."
Walsh has considered phoning the NFL to let them know about his error, but he's decided to "play it cool and try not to freak out about it." If the NFL does contact him about the porn tape, Walsh plans to claim that it was "an old frat brother playing a joke on him."
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell was unavailable for comment. League spokesperson Greg Aiello said that Goodell was "pouring over" the tapes Walsh had sent over, a process that might require several days, a locked room and plenty of tissues.
