Clippers' Thorton can't believe girlfriend fell for "superstition" line

LOS ANGELES - Clippers forward Al Thorton can't believe that his girlfriend bought the excuse that he hadn't talked to her since the start of the season because of a "superstition" involving the team's 0-6 start, sources told to the team said on Wednesday.

"All week, he had been getting phone messages - here at practice, on his cell phone, even at the hotel on the road," the anonymous source said. "I kept telling him 'Al, that's not good, you better call her.' But he kept insisting that he had a plan. I guess he did."

The source said that he was amazed it worked, especially since it didn't make a lot of sense on the surface.

"I mean, think about it: why would you keep doing something if you keep losing?," said the source. "Wouldn't you do the exact opposite, like call your girlfriend, to try and break your streak? It's like having an unlucky pair of underwear."

Bouyed by Thorton's success, the source said that his teammates were looking to apply the logic to their wives and girlfriends as well, including plans to:

• Not come home at night until they get back above .500
• Pass out drunk at a strip club every night until they get their average above 20 ppg
• Sleep with a different music video model until the Clippers trade for Kobe Bryant

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 5:30 PM 0 comments  

Eagle Rock High coach might not be so popular with his players

A totally insane story from here in Los Angeles: Johnny Lopez, the head football coach at Eagle Rock High is back on the sidelines, a week after he was injured when he was speared by one of his players during practice. Sounds like a pretty standard story, right? Coaches get run into on the sidelines all time. It's a violent, fast-moving game, and somethings accidents happen. Look at Joe Paterno or Charlie Weis.

But there's one difference here: THIS WAS NO ACCIDENT! (Cue Det. Lenny Briscoe making a darkly humorous joke here.) The Los Angeles Daily News reports that Lopez was apparently speared on purpose by someone who put on a helmet when the coach wasn't looking, drilled him square in the back, and then took off running, hoping a fence to escape the field while the first-year coach writhed in pain.

Perhaps the most disturbing part of the story is this: none of the other members of the team tried to stop him. I've heard of a coach "losing their team" before, but that usually just means that they don't follow directions and laugh behind his back. It usually doesn't mean "putting on a helmet and running at him full speed behind his back." It's stunning that this could happen*.

Another twist to the story: Lopez's alleged assailant isn't even a current player - the person police believe is responsible is a former player who was a starting linebacker last season.

Eagle Rock forfeited last week's game, and ends the season looking to improve on their 3-6 record. But despite evidence that the team might not be buying into the system, Lopez insists that he's coming back next year. In full pads, I'm sure.

*except for when Paul Hackett was the coach at USC. I'm frankly stunned that he wasn't getting clobbered by his players on a weekly basis by the end of his last season at the helm.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:29 AM 0 comments