I’ve awoken from my stupor of college football, chocolate Zingers and RC Cola to reflect on the opening weekend. And not to get too hyperbolic about it, but I can’t remember a weekend loopier than this. Usually, the first week is nothing but powerhouses squashing “opponents” with the occasional Big Ten also-ran getting beaten by a MAC team, or a secondary player getting hurt.
Not this year, though: within the course of five days, several teams saw their national title hopes either created or destroyed while the reigning Heisman Trophy winner got piledriven into nothingness. And I’m not even getting into Punchgate yet. Here are some random thoughts on three things I learned after the opening weekend of the college football season:
Bobby Bowden is officially fossilized: I watched the entire Florida State vs. Miami game last night (which for once was actually decent) and I’m pretty sure that Bobby Bowden didn’t move once. Perhaps the assistants changed his position on occasion so he looked “lifelike”, but it was pretty obvious that either they’re just rolling out a wax likeness of Bowden, or he’s completely been fossilized like a dinosaur.
As McLane told me, at this point they’re just taking Bowden out “for his weekly walk” and plunking him on the sidelines while Mickey Andrews coaches the team, while Bowden quietly mutters about Charlie Ward’s point guard skills and where the hell is Chris Weinke?
The worst was the time management on Florida State’s final drive. After the Seminoles completed a pass to inside Hurricanes’ five-yard line with 47 seconds to go, they didn’t have another play ready to run. Instead, they had to have receivers running to the sidelines to wait for a play and then rely that to QB Christian Ponder.
Twenty seconds went by before they got the next play off. Of course, Florida State ran out of time to complete their comeback – think those 20 seconds mattered? To make it worse, the Seminoles had a time out and didn’t use it. And while all this confusion happened, Bowden just stood there with a glazed look on his face, as if he was watching the giant unicorns dance with Thelma Todd and Louise Parker somewhere in the distance.
Here’s Mark May breaking down the total collapse – and he’s being generous not to rip Bowden a new one just because he’s old and probably soiled himself (Bowden, not Mark May).
So much for the “little guys” being little: One of the most infuriating things I saw all weekend was Bob “0-3 in bowls” Davie rambling during the Boise State vs. Oregon game about how teams like the Broncos couldn’t compete week in and week out in “big boy” conferences like the PAC-10 because they lacked the depth. Which I think is a pretty pat and stale argument, but it wasn’t as bad as how he tried to prove his point.
He busted out a graphic that compared Boise State’s players taken in the NFL draft in recent years versus the PAC-10 average. As you would expect, Boise State was behind the PAC-10 average and well behind USC. Therefore, Boise State lacked the depth and the big play talent to compete.
This is, of course, a crock of crap. Looking past the fact that talent does not equal wins (as Davie should know from his wasted years at Notre Dame), let’s think about this for a second. Do you think that there were players from Boise State who were better than players from bigger schools but maybe didn’t get drafted because of where they were from? (Note: the Sarcasm Meter is off the chart at this point.)
I can promise you that at least 25 percent of USC’s late-round draft picks were only drafted because they started at USC, which made it easier for some player development guy to justify taking them versus a small-school player. After all, if he started at USC, he must have talent, right?
If there’s one thing we can take from this weekend, it’s that the “BCS Busters” don’t have to rely on trick plays and getting teams into shootouts to win games. Both Boise State and BYU beat major programs this weekend by playing hard-hitting, physical football and basically imposing their will on the “bigger” teams.
And I don’t want to hear that Sam Bradford’s injury means that there is an asterisk on BYU’s win. It’s not like the Sooners’ offense was burning up Cowboys Stadium before Bradford got hurt. And why was he hurt? Because the Cougars were able to get constant pressure on him, and eventually he paid the price. The Sooners’ offensive line was bad with or without Bradford, and BYU made them pay the price.
Terrelle Pryor can’t throw the football: Let’s put it this way – Navy’s QB looked like John Elway when compared to Pryor. If I were Jim Tressel, I’d be less concerned about Pryor’s message welcoming his boyhood hero Michael Vick back into the NFL and more concerned that Pryor is turning into an on-the-field version of Vick: scrambles into trouble as much as he does out of it; can’t keep his eyes upfield while running; and a powerful arm combined with worthless aim.
I’d really like to see a scenario that someone can develop where Ohio State doesn’t crap the bed this weekend against USC. And “Matt Barkley vomits on himself” is not a valid option – USC is going to run early and often and not put Barkley in a position to make big mistakes.
