BOSTON - The Boston Red Sox today announced that Oscar winner Robin Williams will play in an exhibition game for the team later this month. The move is seen as a response to the New York Yankees announcement that Billy Crystal will also suit up and join the Yankees in an upcoming exhibition game, and an attempt to close the gap in moderately funny comedians from the 1980s whose career have fallen on hard times.
"The Yankees might have an Oscar host, but we have an Oscar winner," said Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. "Plus, what has Billy Crystal done in the past 10 years? While he's been busy chasing the Clippers around the country, Robin Williams has been starring in hit movies such as Man of the Year, RV and August Rush."
For his part, the 56 year-old Williams said that taking the field for the Red Sox is "a dream come true."
"I've been a huge fan of the Red Sox for a long time, all the way back to when I made Good Will Hunting," Williams said.
He then went on to recite the entire speech his character from the movie made about Cartlon Fisk's game-winning home run in the 1975 World Series in front of a cadre of increasingly bored reporters, before devolving into a 20-minute long, sporadically humorous riff with tangents including: rosin bags and their similarities to cocaine; Al Gore's hatred of pine tar; and baby poop.
In a related note: in an attempt to stiumlate their fan base, the Tampa Bay Rays had offered one-day minor league contracts to Shecky Green, Don Rickles and Charlie Callas.
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