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Jul 16, 2008

NFL is pretty sure Peyton Manning is a Crip

NEW YORK - NFL officials, reviewing past game film for the possible use of gang signs by players, today announced that they are pretty sure that they saw Peyton Manning flash a sign of allegiance to the Kitchen Crips, a powerful gang in South Central Los Angeles, during a game last year against the Cleveland Browns. But at the same time, they conceded that he might have just been signaling for an audible.

"During the third quarter, Manning made a hand motion that is similar to the symbol for the Kitchen Crips," said NFL vice president of security Milt Ahlerich. "Then again, we were watching the game from a CBS tape that was not HD, so it was kind of hard to tell. He might have been telling Dallas Clark to run a hot route. It's kind of hard to say."

Reached at his Indianapolis home, Manning laughed off of suggestion that he was a member of the Kitchen Crips.

"Me, a member of the Crips?" Manning said. "That's crazy - I really have heard everything. No, I'm not a member of the Crips, and I never would be."

Manning proceeded to end the brief interview by stabbing the reporter to death and carving "MS 13" into his chest, a mark of the Mara Salvatrucha gang from Central America.

Posted by The Duke of Everything

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