Not to burst the bubble of my esteemed colleague, who seems to think that his daughter personally jinxed the Lakers and doomed them to a collapse similar to a Jenga tower built by Michael J. Fox (Editor's note: too soon?), but she was not responsible for what happened. No, the blame squarely rests on the shoulders of an organization known to be so corrupt, evil and Machiavellian that it's obvious that they would be responsible for this.
I'm, of course, talking about the New York Yankees.
Think back to before Game 4, when Curt Schilling blogged about sitting behind the Lakers bench for Game 2, and how Kobe wouldn't stop yelling at his teammates. First, let's concede that Schilling is an idiot and a lout - the fact that he is an athlete that is universally hated by bloggers despite being a blogger himself (usually an instant path to Blog Crush City) is proof enough of how transparent his self-promoting, blowhard ways are.
The problem came from Kobe's response when asked about Schilling's comments: "Go Yankees." Now, at first blush, that's a fun, innocuous comment that's good for a chuckle. But you have to be in Los Angeles and know the history to know that Kobe saying "Go Yankees" was not just tempting fate, but basically was A Hot, Blonde, Teenaged Hotel Worker in Vail for fate. (Editor's note: too so...never mind.)
I know Kobe spent most of his time in Italy, or Bulgaria, or wherever the hell he grew up, so his idea of a rivalry is his ego vs. Shaq's ego AC Milan vs. Juventes, but for people with any sense of history, the leading figure in the Los Angeles sports scene saying "Go Yankees" is the equivalent of Abraham Lincoln waving a Rebel flag while singing Dixie and beating a slave. (Maybe not quite that bad, but you get the point.)
The Yankees and the Dodgers have always hated each other, as long as there has been baseball, and the Dodgers moving from Brooklyn in the 1950s did little to change that. Things really were bad in the late 1970s and early 1980s. The Yankees beat the Dodgers in the World Series back to back in 1977 and 1978 before Los Angeles was able to extract some revenge in 1981. Tommy Lasorda would be spinning in his grave if he knew that the Lakers' star player was saying "Go Yankees."
(I've been told that Tommy Lasorda is still alive. Please substitute "his grave" for "the bed of a high-class call girl". Thanks.)
Frankly, Kobe's lucky that he wasn't struck by lightening, or that a plague of locusts didn't invade the Staples Center. At least he has booze to ease the pain.
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