BELMONT, NY - As an inspection the day after Big Brown's stunning last-place finish at the Belmont Stakes found nothing physically wrong with the Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner, a cloud of suspicion fell over the racing world as allegations surfaced that the champion horse may have thrown the race in order to pay off heavy gambling debts incurred during a trip to Atlantic City with Charles Barkley the previous weekend.
Pictures circulated online today showing a horse bearing a striking resemblance to Big Brown at the betting window at Belmont Park early Saturday morning. Belmont Park officials also reported that a bettor who identified himself as "I. Horse" collected a $2,000 bet on Belmont Stakes winner Da'Tara, a 30 to 1 underdog. The winning ticket, shown to reporters at a press conference, smelled of manure and was covered in apple and carrot stains.
Several witnesses have come forward anonymously to paint a portrait of a star horse thrust into the national spotlight and unable to cope with the pressure. One person, an insider with ties to the horse who would only identify himself as "Kent", said that the issues became worse after the Preakness when he "began running with celebrities" and getting into a fast and loose lifestyle. The worst influence on Big Brown was former NBA great Charles Barkley, a noted gambler who recently settled a case involving a large sum of money owed to a Las Vegas casino.
"The weekend before the race, I heard that Charles was going to be in town and I knew it was bad news," said "Kent." "The next thing I know, I'm hearing these stories about tens of thousands of dollars begin lost at the blackjack table, and all sorts of...well...ugly things."
"Kent" said that he had heard rumors that Big Brown, 3, had run into trouble at one casino after being caught trying to implement a crude "card counting" system.
"Apparently, it was the same system those M.I.T. kids used in that movie," said "Kent." "The problem is that, like all horses, Big Brown has to rely on a rudimentary system of stomping to count. That was a dead giveaway. From what I heard, a few goons roughed him up pretty good - let's just say that he didn't get that 'cracked hoof' from running too many practice laps."
Although he admits that Big Brown should have known better, "Kent" said that Barkley clearly led him down the wrong path.
"I mean, Big Brown can't afford to be a high rolling gambler," said "Kent." "He gets paid in oats - literally. And the second Big Brown really got in a bad way, suddenly Charles is all 'hey, I gotta go run off to LA to shoot a new commercial with D-Wade and he's gone. Some friend, huh?"
National Horse Racing Association officials said that if the allegations were true, they would mark the darkest moment in horse racing history since "that last really bad scandal we had a few weeks ago about...I forget which one that was - doping...cheating...overuse?"
Big Brown offered a simple "Neigh Comment" when reached by this reporter.
2 comments:
Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
big brown had me "glued" to the tv on sat. i watched 2 hours of talking heads saying how great this horse was and then witnessed the biggest meltdown in history, well, since the cardinals vs. da bears on monday night football. at least i wasn't at belmont to see that one live and in person.
i wonder if barkley or wade have big brown in there fav 5? or is star jones in that spot?
i did hear the phx mercury had a halftime tribute to eight bells.
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