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May 13, 2008

Sorenstam retires from LPGA to complete transformation into leather saddle

Ending growing speculation, Annika Sorenstam, the most accomplished women's golfer in history, announced today that she is retiring from the LPGA tour to concentrate on her lifelong goal - becoming a leather saddle.

"As much as I love golf, the hours spent inside the clubhouse and at sponsor functions have made it impossible to completely drain all water from my skin at the rate I would like," Sorenstam said. "After consulting with my team of experts lead by a collection of the top tanners and leather workers in the world, I need to devote myself full-time to this if I want to achieve my goals."

Sorenstam called tournament golf "a huge time suck" that prevented her from the daily care and maintenance needed to finish tanning her hide and begin the process of shaping her into a saddle.

"I have a whole regiment of ointments, soaps, oils and creams that I must do daily to avoid major cracks and hardening," Sorenstam said. "Even though I was lucky to be able to subject my skin to the sun's wonderful, destructive rays on a nearly-daily basis as a golfer, there were still times when I had to travel or meet with sponsors where I had to be inside. Turning myself into a saddle is a 24-7 commitment."

But retiring from golf was a difficult choice, Sorenstam said. Before making her decision, Sorenstam considered pursuing tanning herself into other, less time-intensive objects, including a catcher's mitt, cowboy hat and, most ironically, a golf glove.

Posted by The Duke of Everything

BallHype: hype it up!

3 comments:

clydesdale said...

make sure you oil you mitt. it's really important.

Anonymous said...

Is this post supposed to be funny? Its pathetic! Really! Not that I am sensitive or a big fan of Annika or anything like that, but this post is downright absurd.

The Duke of Everything said...

Clearly you aren't overly sensitive, ANONYMOUS. Clearly...