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In case you were curious...

Yes, I am experimenting with different advertising concepts here on the site. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I have a newborn, and baby has expensive tastes. Some things are OK (banner ads), and other things seem really annoying (the green pop-up highlighted ads). Let me know if anything seems too obnoxious or ruins the experience for you.

And also, do click on an ad on occasion. You might get a good deal (especially if you have a bad back, or need to get laid tonight), and I make a little scratch each time.

Who Heard Steve Somers' Show on WFAN Yesterday?

Several people have commented or e-mailed to me that Steve Somers from WFAN-AM in New York had a segment about Eli Manning that was...suspiciously similar to our blog article (which was later picked up by Deadspin - thanks, Will). Unfortunately, WFAN doesn't archive all of their programming. Short of hiring a monitoring service, I'd like to hear it for myself before we go off the rails, so if anyone happens to have a copy of yesterday's show, I'd love it if you could contact me. I'll be your BFF, promise.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:08 AM 1 comments  

NCAA: Mayo's Free Clippers Tickets "Worthless"

LOS ANGELES - The NCAA today ruled that free tickets received by freshman
OJ Mayo to a Nuggets vs. Clippers game on Monday from Denver star Carmelo Anthony were "essentially worthless," and therefore not a violation of NCAA rules prohibiting athletes from receiving additional benefits.

"In order for a benefit to be categorized as 'improper' it must be something that is of value," said the NCAA in a statement released today. "Because of the team's lack of stars, poor record and inconsistent fan base, the NCAA has determined that Clippers tickets are without value, and therefore accepting free tickets is not against NCAA rules."

Mayo expressed relief in the decision.

"I mean, I didn't even go to the game to watch basketball," said Mayo. "Mainly, I wanted to check out the Clipper cheerleaders and get some nachos. Man, I love nachos. Besides, it was kind of sad in the front row. The only celebrity I saw was that short, bald guy that used to host the Oscars. And some old broad I didn't know."

The statement from the NCAA did warn that if Mayo or any athlete accepted free tickets to "a Lakers game, or any other real NBA franchise," they would be subject to NCAA penalties. WNBA games, however, are exempt.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 3:02 PM 3 comments  

Quick Links

- Apparently Herschel Walker has multiple personality disorder. Which means that the Vikings didn't trade their future away to the Cowboys in exchange for just one player - they got several versions of the same, overrated, apparently crazy player. (With Leather)
- They recently installed a "synthetic track" at Santa Anita Park that was supposed to be state of the art and keep horses healthier. Apparently, that means "installing such a lousy drainage system that the horse can never race and therefore never get hurt," leading to the cancellation of the past two days of races and four racing days this month. What are Los Angeles' horse racing fans going to do with their time until they hit the bar a 4 p.m.? (Los Angeles Times)
- A million pants unzip in preparation for tomorrow night's Australian Open women's final between Ana Ivanovic (pictured) and Maria Sharapova. (not pictured because you know what she looks like unless you live in a cave. And unsexy cave.) Unfortunately, this is being shown at 9:30 p.m. Eastern, so you might want to Tivo this so you can watch it after the wife and kids go to bed. (The Big Lead)
- Looks like Michael Strahan might have a shot after all - Tony Romo has allegedly dumped Jessica Simpson. (New York Daily News)

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 1:06 PM 3 comments  

Chow: UCLA hire has nothing to do with burning, passionate hatred for Carroll

New UCLA offensive coordinator Norm Chow said today that his decision to return to the college coaching ranks after having been an assistant with the NFL's Baltimore Ravens was all about opportunity, and certainly has nothing to do with a burning, passionate hatred for USC head coach Pete Carroll that has built up since he left the Trojans in 2004.

"Nope. This is just a good chance to do something I like somewhere I'm comfortable," Chow said. "I don't have any bitterness or anger over how horribly I was treated at USC, or how ungrateful Coach Carroll was for everything I did for the team. Certainly, I want us to beat USC, but this isn't any sort of all-encompassing, consuming desire to crush USC that is going to take over every aspect of my life. Nothing like that at all."

Chow insisted that despite reports of tension between him and Carroll over control of USC's offense and credit for the Trojans' run of success, he and his former boss had a good relationship.

"It will be good to see him before the game next year," Chow said. "Or after the game, crying. We're still good friends - friends who don't ever talk to each other, and who want to se the other person crushed and destroyed, with their lifelong dreams and ambitions shattered like fine china in an earthquake. That kind of friend."

Chow denied reports that he was the voice behind an anonymous phone message to NCAA investigators saying the the caller "knew where all of USC's skeletons are buried," and that they could meet "in the corner booth of Lamonica's Pizza on Westwood Blvd." if they wanted more information.

Chow also disputed rumors that it would be difficult to work under new UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel, who got the UCLA job after Chow had previously interviewed for it.

"You know, these things happen, and I'm happy to be working under Rick, plus I still have plenty of time in my career to get that first head coaching break," said Chow, 61. "In fact, I like to pick up coffee from Starbucks every morning for Coach Neuheisel. He likes the Hazelnut Latte, which is great since the strong taste should mask the taste of oleander when the time comes. So yeah, I think I'll be a head coach, at least in an emergency, interim capacity, very soon."

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:37 AM 0 comments  

Inspired by Barefoot Coach, Majerus to Coach Pantsless

ST. LOUIS – Inspired by IUPUI men’s basketball head coach Ron Hunter’s pledge to coach his team’s next game barefoot to raise awareness for a charity, University of St. Louis head coach Rick Majerus pledged today to coach the Billikens’ upcoming game Saturday against La Salle naked from the waist down.

“I heard about Coach Hunter, and thought what the heck, why not try to do him one better,” Majerus said. “I mean, the worst part of coaching is having to wear pants, so this is a perfect chance to avoid that all together.”

During a press conference on Majerus’ plans, the coach was asked which charity he was raising awareness for with his stunt, a question which confused the rotund coach.

“Charity? I don’t know what you mean,” Majerus said. “I thought that Coach Hunter just didn’t like wearing shoes. Well, there has to be some sort of charity that donates pants to needy Africans, right? If not, there should be."

A representative of the University of St. Louis said that the Catholic institution had no comment on Majerus’ plans, although they would rather that Majerus go back to commenting on abortion.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 11:43 PM 2 comments  

Yahoo! has a bit of a mix-up

At least I'm going to assume it's a mix-up. Otherwise, why in the world would they include a photo of former Dolphins head coach (and new Ravens offensive coordinator) Cam Cameron with their story on the GOP Primary in Florida?



There can't possibly be a connection there, right? I can't imagine that the endorsement of "Mr. 1-15" is going to count for a whole lot in Florida these days.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 4:19 PM 1 comments  

Coaching Barefoot: A Noble, Honorable, Gross Idea

IUPUI (it stands for Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis - don't ask me, I don't live in Indiana) head men's basketball coach Ron Hunter will be coaching barefoot on Thursday in his team's game against Oakland University. The stunt is a way to raise awareness for Samaritan's Feet, a charity started by Nigerian native Emmanuel "Manny" Ohonme, who eventually came to the US to play college basketball (no doubt recruited by Kevin Bacon). The goal is to send 40,000 pairs of shoes to Africa in honor of the 40th anniversary of the death of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Helping put shoes on the feet of needy men, women and children in Africa is a great cause. Hunter has personally received more than 30,000 pairs of shoes already. What he is doing is a great and noble thing.

It is also, unquestionably, unbelievably gross and unhygienic. I'm far from a neat freak, but you couldn't pay me enough money to walk barefoot on a gym floor for several hours. The sheer number of variety of fungi and other infectious diseases lurking on any gym floor boggles the mind. It's a Tinactin commercial waiting to happen. Perhaps he should take a lesson from Howard Hughes and skip the shoes but wear Kleenex boxes on his feet.

I'd like to say that it would be neat if other, more established coaches follow his lead. But let's be honest - Bobby Knight's bare feet probably resemble something from a Lord of the Rings monster, and I don't think we need the dozens of ESPN close-ups IN HD that we would probably be treated with during that broadcast.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 2:45 PM 3 comments  

Proof of a Higher Power: Rusty Wallace Out, Dale Jarrett as Lead NASCAR Analyst on ESPN

NASCAR fans rarely agree on anything (Bud or Coors? Chevy or Ford? Skoal or Red Man?). But one thing that pretty much everyone agreed on last season was that ESPN's first year back covering NASCAR was kind of a mess. And a big problem was lead analyst Rusty Wallace, who seemed to mean well but also seemed to be hopelessly overmatched in the booth, which unfortunately lead to a reaction where he decided that if he talked all the time, non-stop, throughout the broadcast, you wouldn't notice that he actually wasn't saying much of anything. Volume over substance.

Well, ESPN finally pulled the plug on Rusty. Sort of. Dale Jarrett is going to be the lead NASCAR analyst next season, while Rusty moves over to become the lead analyst for ESPN studio programs. Dale is again following in his father Ned's footsteps, as the senior Jarrett was a longtime (although somewhat subdued) analyst for ESPN and CBS. And Dale was pretty good in his part-time role last season on Nationwide (Busch) Series races - certainly, he added when he could. and stayed out of the way when he didn't have anything to contribute.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 2:25 PM 3 comments  

Your YouTube Crash Video of the Day

I used to ride a bicycle. In the summer in junior high, a friend and I would take daylong rides, usually 80 miles or more, sometimes up to the base of the Sierra Nevadas. However, I was not one of those guys who wear neon orange and lime green bicycling suits that are tight enough to need a bucket of talc to get into and out of. Why? Because I'm not and never have been a professional cyclists, and neither have any of those idiots you see on the roads every day. I like NASCAR, but I don't wear a helmet with HANS device and a full fireproof suit when I get in my car to go to the store for groceries.

That said, Rigoberto Uran is a professional cyclist, although apparently not a very good one. I would think that "learning to turn" would be one of those skills that would be handy for a professional cyclist, especially on a twisty, mountain course:



Ouch. In case you are wondering, Uran wound up with two broken elbows, a broken wrist and a crack in the back of his neck that was described as "absolutely harmless", which seems pretty much impossible.

And because I hate to leave you with just one video, let me refer you to the Cycling Fans Anonymous Web site, which compiled a list of the Ten Worst Cycling Crashes of 2007. You'll be keeping the training wheels on your kids' bikes for a few extra months after seeing these videos and photos.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 1:26 PM 1 comments