USC women's soccer coach files Title IX suit against Yahoo! Sports

USC women's soccer coach Ali Khosroshahin filed a Title IX lawsuit against Yahoo! Sports on Tuesday, claiming the online news site had engaged in "gross gender inequity" by refusing to report on massive recruiting violations by the Women of Troy's team.

“It’s absolutely unfair that our football and men’s basketball teams have been getting all of this publicity, when we’re breaking just as many NCAA rules and not getting any attention from Yahoo! Sports,” Khosroshahin said during a sparsely-attended press conference at Heritage Hall to announce the lawsuit.

“Seriously, the things we’re doing here makes Tim Floyd look like Mother Teresa,” Khosroshahin said as he held up a stack of receipts detailing illegal payments of cash, car and male strippers to USC women’s soccer recruits. “Hello? Anyone interested?”

Responding to Khosroshahin’s charges, Yahoo! Sports editor Jay Robinski said that the while the organization was aware of the massive violations taking place within the USC women’s soccer program, it was a “secondary concern.”

“We had a pretty good idea something was going on when we received a large packet of evidence from USC with including incriminating pictures, videos and a signed confession from Coach Khosroshahin,” Robinski said. “But to be honest, there are just more pressing concerns happening with USC right now. I mean, we just got word that (USC football coach) Pete Carroll might have jaywalked while crossing the street to see a USC football recruit play in 2006. Why hasn’t the NCAA investigated this yet?”

Khosroshahin said that if the lawsuit did not succeed, he would be forced to “ramp up” plans to gain recognition for the Women of Troy, the 2007 national champions.

“You know what they say – all publicity is good publicity,” Khosroshahin said as he held up a massive bag of what was believed to be HGH.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 7:16 PM 1 comments  

...And We're Back

…and we’re back.

As you might have noticed, we’re been away for a little while. Long enough that you could almost fit an entire NBA Playoff schedule in there. For those of you who were worried, we didn’t pull some sort of Stanley Wilson-style coke binge and go missing from the face of the Earth (we’re not rank amateurs – we can handle our drugs).

The truth is, Your Face became a victim of its own success. Both fknmclane and I were able to parlay the fame and notoriety we gained from our writing here into gigs for other, more respectable sites. That paid. Real money, not just “the respect and admiration of our readers,” which is nice and all, but doesn’t pay for the 12-pack of Miller High Life we need to get through the day.

But here’s the thing: writing for other people might pay (some), but it’s not the same as writing for Your Face. Writing for other sites is about creating content that drives page views, meaning “see if you can write more about Erin Andrews;” writing for Your Face is about coming up with things that make us laugh, and hopefully you as well. And finding new ways to call Shaq fat. Because he’s just enormous.

So we’re back, and we plan on being here for the long haul. Unless we get a better offer. Or our wives tell us to stop.
McLane didn't have much to add, which is a shame. I was hoping for him to put something together, because I know he's very excited to be back working Your Face. Here is the email I received from him with his response to my request:

'Poop.'

So at least that hasn’t changed.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 11:40 AM 1 comments