Ken Norton Jr. Breaks Bruin Hearts Again

You know Ken Norton, Jr. All-American linebacker at UCLA. The only player in NFL history to play on three consecutive Super Bowl-winning teams. Wanted to coach at his alma mater after his playing career but was told by Karl Dorrell that there was no room on the staff, he decided to take a job with his former defensive coordinator Pete Carroll at USC. Is now the linebackers coach for the Trojans, a squad that makes it their mission to destroy UCLA offensive players on a yearly basis, almost like someone had something to prove or an axe to grind.

Well, Rick Neuheisel decided to try and make a "big splash" by convincing Norton to come back to UCLA in the same position. And, just like you would think would happen, Norton listened and waited long enough to get Bruins' hopes up, before driving a stake through their hearts by announcing that he's not leaving USC after all.

At least Norm Chow is now available after he received his pink slip from the Titans today. (I found it interesting to read about his firing in the LA Times one day after they said he wasn't a serious candidate at UCLA because he had "just signed a contract extension." Am I missing something here?) Bringing him back as offensive coordinator to compete against Carroll, whom he had a "frosty" relationship with, could be one way to needle USC a bit. Then again, Chow is under the perpetual notion that he's just one interview away from becoming a head coach somewhere, when in fact Chow Yun Fat has a better chance of becoming a head football coach than Norm Chow.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:16 PM 0 comments  

USC Mulls Move to Oakland Coliseum

LOS ANGELES - In a surprising twist to an ongoing saga, University of Southern California officials today announced that they are considering moving home games to Oakland beginning next season. The university had originally discussed moving to the nearby Rose Bowl after talks with the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum stalled. However, school officials are now considering a radical plan to play home games at the Oakland Coliseum.

"After evaluating our options, we think this provides us with the best solution going forward," said Todd R. Dickey, USC's senior vice president for administration. "Although it will add an additional commute for our alumni and students, we think that with the loyalty of our fan base, we'll have little trouble selling out most games. Plus, all of our letterhead already says 'The Coliseum' on it, so this is going to save us thousands of dollars a year."

Under a university plan, shuttle buses would take fans and students to and from campus and the Oakland Coliseum. This will mean that fans will need to arrive no later than 3 a.m. for a 12:30 p.m. kickoff. University officials said that studies showed this would be comparable to the wait times for parking at the Rose Bowl.

"The 'Weekender' trip for our fans to the Bay Area schools is always a highlight of the football season," said Dickey. "This plan brings the fun and excitement of a Weekender to every home USC football game."

USC head coach Pete Carroll briefly discussed the plan after today's practice in preparation for their Rivalry Week game against UCLA. He said he wouldn't treat the 1,000 round-trip distance of their home stadium as a disadvantage.

"If that's what happens, then it's a great opportunity for us to get out there and show what we can do to a new audience," Carroll said. "It's what we do as a program, take advantage of what's put in front of us. It's something to look forward to. We'll build on it and go from there. We're all excited about it."

Carroll then headed off to his Heritage Hall office, muttering positive mantras to himself the entire way.

Reaction in the Bay Area was mixed. Some fans thought that Bay Area sports fans would not embrace a team moving from Southern California.

"By great Lucifer's ghost, moving a team from Los Angeles to here would never work!," said A. Davis, an elderly man found eating a Senior Slam at an Oakland area Denny's. "Next, there will be flying automobiles, and phones that tell you the scores of football game. And toasters that can steal your soul! From Irwindale, that's where salvation is from these foul howler monkeys. Irwindale!!!"

Davis rambled for a few minutes, then fell asleep in his grits.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 2:04 PM 0 comments  

Brady Quinn makes dumb bets

Say what you will about the questionable choices Browns rookie and former Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn makes in front of the camera, but you have to say this: he makes equally bad decisions on what bets to take. At least that's the impression I get after learning that he had made a "jersey bet" with former USC and retired NFL QB Rodney Peete over the outcome of last week's game. The upshot? Quinn had to wear a USC jersey in interviews this week.

My favorite part of the story is his new teammate and former USC All-American LB Willie McGinest confronting him after Quinn had thrown the jersey in the trash:

When he finished with his interview, Quinn quickly ripped off the jersey and slam dunked it into a nearby garbage can.

A few minutes later, Browns linebacker Willie McGinest, a former USC All-American, confronted Quinn in front of his locker. McGinest wanted to know what Quinn had done with the jersey.

"You acting up?" McGinest said.

"I didn't make the bet with you," Quinn said.

Although the story leaves out what happened next, I'd like to think that the phrases "a hail of punches", "face looking like a side of meat" or "eating solid food in 6 to 8 weeks" were involved, but I think I'm being wildly optimistic.

But apparently I'm not as optimistic as Quinn, who made what has to be one of the most lopsided bets in dumb bet history. I mean, even before the start of the season, did he think there was any chance that Notre Dame was going to win this game? And I know, Stanford, Stanford, Stanford. But we also didn't know just how lousy Notre Dame was going to be - I don't know if this would have been a dumber bet to take before the season started or right before the game.

I'm not saying that Brady Quinn is a sucker, but I'd like to go "heads I win, tails you lose" for a month's paycheck against him.

Brady Quinn, the pride of Notre Dame
(photo credit Deadspin.com)

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 2:06 PM 0 comments