My 2007 Bowl Game Projections

So, I'm sick. Very sick. How sick? When your doctor calls in the nurse specifically so she can look through into your ear to get a sense of "what a really, really bad ear infection" looks like, you're in bad shape.

So instead of, you know, working at work today, I kept myself preoccupied from the screaming pain in my left ear (which I had attributed before to listening to Steve Lavin call the USC/Southern Illinois basketball game last night) by doing some projections for the upcoming bowl season. Not just the BCS bowls, but all of them.

This is all preliminary, and although I did some research to get a sense of what the rumor mill is saying about destinations, I also used some gut instincts. The big thing you'll notice is that I have Oklahoma upsetting Missouri and knocking them out of the BCS Title game this weekend. Which would be totally appropriate - instead of getting a really exciting match-up with lots of offense, we'd be stuck with Ohio State lumbering in to get taken to the woodshed again (this time by West Virginia). I'm also assuming that if Ohio State plays for the national title, the Rose Bowl would select Illinois to take its place - they are all gooey and nostalgic for the Big 10/Pac 10 match-ups.

Agree with them or disagree, here are my bowl projections:

	Game	Match Up			Teams
	BCS Title	BCS #1	vs.	BCS #2	West Virginia	vs.	Ohio St.
	Rose Bowl	Pac-10 Champ	vs.	Big 10 Champ	USC	vs.	Illinois
	Fiesta Bowl	Big 12 Champ	vs.	At-Large	Oklahoma	vs.	Georgia
	Orange Bowl	ACC Champ	vs.	At-Large	Virginia Tech	vs.	Missouri
	Sugar Bowl	SEC Champ	vs.	At-Large	LSU	vs.	Hawaii
	Capital One Bowl	SEC #2	vs.	Big 10 #2	Florida	vs.	Wisconsin
	Gator Bowl	ACC #3	vs.	Big 12 #4/Big East #2	Virginia	vs.	Texas Tech
	Cotton Bowl	Big 12 #2	vs.	SEC #3/4/5	Kansas	vs.	Arkansas
	Outback Bowl	SEC #3/4/5	vs.	Big Ten #3	Tennessee	vs.	Michigan
	International Bowl	MAC #3	vs.	Big East	Ball St.	vs.	Rutgers
	Liberty Bowl	C-USA #1	vs.	SEC #6/7	UCF	vs.	Mississippi St.
	Mieneke Car Care Bowl	ACC #5	vs.	Big East	Wake Forest	vs.	Connecticut
	Chick-fil-A Bowl	ACC #2	vs.	SEC #3/4/5	Clemson	vs.	Auburn
	Independence Bowl	Big 12 #6	vs.	SEC #8	Colorado	vs.	Alabama
	Sun Bowl	Pac-10 #3	vs.	Big 12 #5/Big East	Oregon St.	vs.	South Florida
	Music City Bowl	ACC #5/6	vs.	SEC #6/7	Florida St.	vs.	Kentucky
	Holiday Bowl	Pac-10 #2	vs.	Big 12 #3	Arizona St.	vs.	Texas
	Emerald Bowl	Pac-10 #4/5	vs.	ACC #5/6/7	California	vs.	Georgia Tech

	Alamo Bowl	Big 12 #4/5	vs.	Big Ten #4	Texas A&M	vs.	Penn State
	Texas Bowl	Big 12 #7	vs.	C-USA #3/4	TCU	vs.	Houston
	Humanitarian Bowl	WAC #1	vs.	ACC #8	Boise St.	vs.	Maryland
	Insight Bowl	Big 12 #5	vs.	Big Ten #6	Oklahoma St.	vs.	Purdue
	Champs Sports Bowl	Big Ten #5	vs.	ACC #4	Indiana	vs.	Boston College
	Motor City Bowl	MAC #1/2	vs.	Big Ten #7	Central Michigan	vs.	Michigan St.
	Hawai'I Bowl	C-USA	vs.	WAC #2	East Carolina	vs.	Fresno St.
	Armed Forces Bowl	MWC	vs.	Pac-10	Air Force	vs.	UCLA
	Las Vegas Bowl	Pac-10 #4/5	vs.	MWC #1	Oregon	vs.	BYU
	Poinsettia Bowl	MWC	vs.	At-Large/Navy	Utah	vs.	Navy
	GMAC Bowl	MAC #1/2	vs.	C-USA #2	Bowling Green	vs.	Tulsa
	New Orleans Bowl	Sun Belt #1	vs.	C-USA #5	Troy	vs.	Memphis
	PapaJohns.com Bowl	C-USA #3/4	vs.	Big East/MAC	Southern Miss	vs.	Cincinnati
	New Mexico Bowl	WAC #3	vs.	MWC	Nevada/Louisiana Tech	vs.	New Mexico

A few interesting possible games here:

- I love the idea of Kansas playing Arkansas. Somehow it should be like a "loser leaves town" match from the old-time wrestling days. Maybe the loser should have to change their name to "Lesser Kansas" for the next year.
- USC vs. Illinois in the Rose Bowl would be fabulous, just because the pre-game hype would turn into a contest to see which coach gets the most "don't let the laid-back approach fool you" stories written about him. Plus, plenty of opportunities for Ron Zook to go water-skiing!
- Any battle between Troy and Memphis might turn into an actual historical war!
- Colorado vs. Alabama: Dan Hawkins vs. Nick Saban. Something has to give. I'm not sure what, but something...

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 4:28 PM 4 comments  

Ricardo Mayorga is a People Person

Nicaraguans love their sports heroes. And perhaps no native son has had more success on the world sports stage than three-time world boxing champion Ricardo Mayorga. So, he should be the people's champion, right? Wrong. Why? Because he's a really, really tremendous asshole.

Nicaraguans are so ashamed of Mayorga's boorish behavior (smoking and eating friend chicken at weigh-ins, arrogance, being a foul-mouthed punk and starting fights at press conferences, etc.) that they celebrated in the streets of Managua and set of rockets after he lost to Oscar de la Hoya. To repeat to hammer home the point, they were celebrating a victory by Oscar de la Hoya - no Hispanic person that I'm aware of in the US has ever done this before.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:03 AM 0 comments  

Stay Classy, Jets Fans

If there was going to be a story about football fans sexual harassing, spitting on and otherwise abusing female fans at the game, it makes sense it was going to be Jets fans. In their own way, they are just as boorish and obnoxious as Raider fans. But while Raider fans spend their time stabbing fans of opposing teams, Jets fans occupy themselves with chanting for women in the concession area to expose themselves.

My favorite quote in the story is about the one woman who did flash the crowd during last week's game:

Denisse Rivera, a 23-year-old from the Bronx, was on a first date Sunday. When she arrived at the crowd at Gate D, several men pointed at her, signaling men at all levels to chant in her direction. After a brief moment of hesitation, she flashed them. Then she took a bow.

“I don’t care,” Rivera said when told that video clips of previous incidents, taken on cellphones, ended up online. “I love my body and I like what I have, so let everybody share it.”

Two security guards soon approached Rivera. The guards warned her about indecent exposure laws, she said, and let her go.

That, my friends, is an interesting first date. Of course, if you're the guy whose first date flashed hundreds of guys at the Jets game, you had better get lucky that night. Otherwise, I'd recommend that you quit dating altogether - you've officially lost at dating and suck at life.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 9:50 AM 2 comments  

Handicapabling Challenge Week 4: All-NFL Edition

I wish I could say I was doing this because I had five particularly great NFL picks. The honest truth is that there has been a bad virus running through The Duke's family, and this is my first chance to make picks. No explanations, just picks...

- Cincinnati (-3) vs. Arizona
- Oakland (+4.5) at Minnesota
- Tampa Bay (-3) at Atlanta
- Detroit (-2.5) vs. NY Giants
- Buffalo (+16) vs. New England

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 4:00 PM 0 comments  

Breaking News: Bonds Provides Nation with Collective Moment of Schadenfreude

If you haven't heard yet, Barry Bonds has been indicted by a federal grand jury on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. If convicted, he could face up to 30 years in jail.

I haven't had time to digest this yet, so bear with me before I give you my ill-informed hard-hitting opinions on everything. Although I would like to point out that I find it interesting that President Bush issued a statement that he was "very disappointed to hear this". This from the same guy whose Texas Rangers, while he was managing partner, traded for Jose Canseco, and also had Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro on the roster.

Mainly this is friendly warning to avoid ESPN for at least the next 48 hours as I'm sure they are on "BREAKING NEWS RED ALERT CRITICAL MASS" level with their coverage right about now.

Note: Maybe Bonds should take a closer look at that contract offer from the Washington Wild Things of the independent Frontier League. It might be as good as it gets next season.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 3:28 PM 1 comments  

What Not to Watch: 11/15/07

Keeping you informed of the worst sports viewing choices possible (all times Pacific):

• NBA Vault (NBATV, 5:30 p.m.) - Highlights of old basketball games? Probably not watching that. But if it was, say, Yao Ming on a gymnastics vault attempted to land a Double twisting Yurchenko? That I'd pay to watch.
• College Basketball, Stanford @ Northwestern (Big 10 Network, 6 p.m.) - It's like if the kids from Pacific Tech faced off against The Lambda Lambda Lambdas on the hardwood. Except probably with less randy hijinx.
• Summit's High Places (6:30 p.m., Outdoor Channel) - Sadly, this show does not revolve around is the Tennessee women's basketball coach reminiscing about that time she ripped a massive bong load with Nancy Lieberman and Ann Meyers-Drysdale out in back of the Women's Basketball Hall of Fame.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 3:06 PM 0 comments  

LA Clippers Cheerleader Makes Half-Court Shot

As found on Deadspin.com...needless to say, the crowd was sort of pumped up...

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:50 AM 0 comments  

Indians Team Officials "Really Fucking Thrilled" with Sabathia's Cy Young

CLEVELAND - Immediately after Cleveland hurler C.C. Sabathia was named AL Cy Young winner this afternoon, Indians team officials held a press conference to express their sentiments over their pitcher's recognition. Even though their words conveyed excitement over the honor, their tone and actions left many reporters questioning the veracity of their statements.

Sabathia was named AL Cy Young winner over Boston Red Sox ace Josh Beckett. Cy Young voting occurs before the post-season begins, which might have been lucky for Sabathia. He was 1-2 with an 8.80 ERA in four post-season starts for the Indians before they were knocked out of the playoffs by the Red Sox. Meanwhile, Beckett was stellar in the playoffs, going 4-0 with a 1.20 ERA.

"Yeah, C.C. really showed what a 'big game' pitcher he was this season," said Indians GM Mark Shaprio, using "air quotes" the first of several times during the press conference. "You could say that, in a sense, there is no way our seasons could have ended the way it did with his 'performance' when it mattered most."

Cleveland manager Eric Wedge deflected a question on whether he would trade Sabathia for Beckett if he could.

"Oh, of course not," Wedge said. "Why would I want to switch out a guy who is great in the regular season for one of the best post-season pitchers in history? It's all about what you accomplish in the regular season against teams like Tampa Bay, Baltimore and Kansas City that counts, right?"

Wedge then concluded by making a stroking motion with his right hand near his crotch that appeared to mimic masturbation while rolling his eyes and making a "raspberry" with his mouth.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 11:34 PM 1 comments  

What, no Sonny Bono videos?

It's winter, so that means that there will be plenty of ski accidents to watch on YouTube. Am I sick because I like watching helpless skiers go sailing out of control at 80 mph, slamming their bodies into the ground and being thrown around like a rag doll in the dryer? Probably, but I guess I am what I am.

Here's a little compilation of skiing crashes to get you ready. Does it have Euros crashing on a downhill run and knocking themselves silly? Check. Song by Against Me? Check. Created on Windows MovieMaker? Check.



The best part are those flimsy, orange barriers. It always seems like going through five or six of those at top speed and having your limbs rendered by them hurts more than if they just weren't there. Unless there's, you know, a tree there or something.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 3:02 PM 0 comments  

Nebraska Football, Making...History?

One of the college football scores outside of the Top 25 that caught my eye was this one: Nebraska 73, Kansas State 31. Of course, any team winning by that large of a margin is pretty eye-catching. But when you consider that Nebraska was bouncing back from a 76-39 loss to Kansas the week before, it's pretty amazing.

How amazing? I did some research to find out. (Thanks to the College Football Data Warehouse, which is pretty indispensable at this point.) No NCAA Division I team has ever scored 70+ points and given up 70+ points in back-to-back weeks. In fact, according to my research, only seven teams have ever pulled that feat in a single season, and only two since 1950:

Texas A&M (2003): 73-10 vs. Baylor (10/11), 0-77 @ Oklahoma (11/8)
BYU (2001): 70-35 vs. Tulane (8/25), 45-72 @ Hawaii (12/8)
Hawaii (1949): 98-7 vs. Islanders (10/28) and 76-6 vs, Leilehua HS (11/11), 0-75 vs. Pacific (12/16)
Louisville (1928): 72-0 vs. Eastern Kentucky (10/6), 70-0 vs. Tennessee-Chattanooga (10/20)
Louisiana-Lafayette (1918): 107-6 vs. Patterson HS (???), 0-74 vs. Tulane (11/28)
Ohio (1916): 89-3 vs. Wittenberg (???), 0-73 vs. Syracuse (10/7)
Cal (1915): 81-6 vs. Nevada (11/20), 0-72 vs. Washington (11/6)

So as Bill Callahan packs his bags and calls the Realtor this week, at least he can do so knowing that his team was historically schizo this season. Which I'm sure he'll have a lot of time to reflect on.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 9:49 AM 0 comments