USC to the Rose Bowl...permanently?

On Tuesday, USC made the startling announcement that it had begun negotiations with the Rose Bowl to move from the Coliseum and begin playing home football games there starting next season. You can read the story for the full details, but the gist of the situation is this: USC wants control over running the Coliseum (and scheduling), and wants renovations to be made. They are willing to kick in $100 million over the next 10 years towards the renovations. However, the Coliseum Commission has been putting this issue on the back burner and hoping it goes away, mainly because they are still committed to the pipe dream that the NFL is going to be back in the Coliseum someday.

Bill Plaschke's column in the LA Times on Wednesday does a fairly good job of summarizing how I feel about this. This is clearly a lot of political posturing and muscle-flexing being done by USC to let the Coliseum Commission know that "it means business". It's almost inconceivable that USC would anger so many of its alumni by destroying 80+ years of tradition by forcing them to move from their home just off-campus to a new site 20 miles away with lousy parking and freeway access (and would be second tenant to their arch rivals).

However, this is the Coliseum Commission we're talking about, and if anyone can screw something up royally, it's them. Plaschke's column gets into it in a little more detail, but the Commission has directly or indirectly lead to the Rams and Raiders leaving Los Angeles and the O'Malley family selling the Dodgers.

The indirect good news in all of this is that the brouhaha has forced LA mayor Antonio Villaraigosa to stop sucking face with news anchors long enough to finally, publicly state that he's given up on the NFL ever returning to the Coliseum and that the Commission should too. And the general outrage this has caused has pretty much put the Coliseum Commission into such a bad spot than even they seem to be forced to admit defeat at this point. (Well, except for exceptionally stubborn Commission members like current City Councilman and former really lousy LA Police Chief Bernard Parks, who "must keep the door open for a professional team."

And just who is the Coliseum Commission? As you can guess, a bunch of bureaucrats! More specifically, a nine-person panel made up of: four politicians (the afore-mentioned Parks and three LA County Supervisors) and five "private citizens", including the widow of Aaron Spelling and the wife of City Councilman Herb Wesson. (Apparently, being married to old, white guys is excellent training for deciding the fate of one of LA's major landmarks.)

And just how effective is the Coliseum Commission? I'll let a current City Council member tell you:

"There is nothing that that commission has [accomplished] in the 30 or 40 years that I know of," said L.A. City Councilman Greig Smith, who offered a list of teams that have left the Coliseum and neighboring Sports Arena. "One government agency can screw up. Three government agencies can screw up a lot."

I'll leave with an interesting article from the LA Times' architecture critic about the situation. I think it's a good overview of the challenges faced in maintaining the Coliseum, and LA's older stadium structures in general. I'm going to let my USC alum bias show here for a second in response. I've been to both the Rose Bowl and the Coliseum, and frankly, in terms of "watching the game" aesthetics, I prefer the Coliseum. The site lines are better and the seats are wider. I always have a sense of being more "on top" of things at the Coliseum from the upper deck, versus being lower and further away at the Rose Bowl. And I can still find free street parking at the Coliseum (and never had any issues with break-ins, etc.) on game days, even on sell-outs. At the Rose Bowl? Not so much.

But the Rose Bowl does have a pretty view of the mountains...I guess that counts for something.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:26 AM 0 comments  

Playing Guitar Hero Makes Tony Romo Look Like a Giant Dork

Photo Credit: Jensen Walker/Getty Images for Guitar Hero

So CNN/SI has a photo gallery up right now of "Male Athletes Off the Field" (which is a weird title - aren't 90 percent of athletes that people know male?), and the picture above is the first picture you see. The cheese-eating goofball front and center with the Janet Jackson Rhythm Nationa 1814 headset is Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo, playing Guitar Hero III at a promotional event with teammates Terrance Newman, Marc Colombo and Cory Procter.

First off, does anyone look like they less want to be somewhere than Terrance Newman? And take a look at the "guitar" they gave Marc Colombo - could they find a larger model for the giant, hulking NFL player. It looks like he's playing Mandolin Hero.

But really, the star here is Romo. From the too-high position on the guitar to the "yuck yuck" grin on his face, everything about him screams "yokel". This picture alone is going to cause me to lay serious scratch on the Packers next week against the Cowboys - no way Brett Favre would ever look this dorky.

But here's my main bone of contention - what the hell is he doing wearing that headset? I don't own Guitar Hero, but I've played it several times. At no point do I remember signing being a part of it. I don't even know if the headset is plugged in (it might just trail off into nothingness, like watching a band "perform" on American Bandstand back in the day when none of the electric instruments were attached to anything).

My theory: he's so used to getting play calls from the booth that he cannot function without assistance 100 percent of the time. In this case, his possible girlfriend/maybe just friends/whatever Carrie Underwood is in another room telling him which buttons on the "gee-tar" to push.

I'd also recommend checking out photo #4, of NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson trying for the Jim Halpert casual cool look at a fashion event and failing. Miserably. He looks like a 6 year-old dressing up in dad's clothes.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 11:44 AM 2 comments  

My 2007 Bowl Game Projections

So, I'm sick. Very sick. How sick? When your doctor calls in the nurse specifically so she can look through into your ear to get a sense of "what a really, really bad ear infection" looks like, you're in bad shape.

So instead of, you know, working at work today, I kept myself preoccupied from the screaming pain in my left ear (which I had attributed before to listening to Steve Lavin call the USC/Southern Illinois basketball game last night) by doing some projections for the upcoming bowl season. Not just the BCS bowls, but all of them.

This is all preliminary, and although I did some research to get a sense of what the rumor mill is saying about destinations, I also used some gut instincts. The big thing you'll notice is that I have Oklahoma upsetting Missouri and knocking them out of the BCS Title game this weekend. Which would be totally appropriate - instead of getting a really exciting match-up with lots of offense, we'd be stuck with Ohio State lumbering in to get taken to the woodshed again (this time by West Virginia). I'm also assuming that if Ohio State plays for the national title, the Rose Bowl would select Illinois to take its place - they are all gooey and nostalgic for the Big 10/Pac 10 match-ups.

Agree with them or disagree, here are my bowl projections:

	Game	Match Up			Teams
	BCS Title	BCS #1	vs.	BCS #2	West Virginia	vs.	Ohio St.
	Rose Bowl	Pac-10 Champ	vs.	Big 10 Champ	USC	vs.	Illinois
	Fiesta Bowl	Big 12 Champ	vs.	At-Large	Oklahoma	vs.	Georgia
	Orange Bowl	ACC Champ	vs.	At-Large	Virginia Tech	vs.	Missouri
	Sugar Bowl	SEC Champ	vs.	At-Large	LSU	vs.	Hawaii
	Capital One Bowl	SEC #2	vs.	Big 10 #2	Florida	vs.	Wisconsin
	Gator Bowl	ACC #3	vs.	Big 12 #4/Big East #2	Virginia	vs.	Texas Tech
	Cotton Bowl	Big 12 #2	vs.	SEC #3/4/5	Kansas	vs.	Arkansas
	Outback Bowl	SEC #3/4/5	vs.	Big Ten #3	Tennessee	vs.	Michigan
	International Bowl	MAC #3	vs.	Big East	Ball St.	vs.	Rutgers
	Liberty Bowl	C-USA #1	vs.	SEC #6/7	UCF	vs.	Mississippi St.
	Mieneke Car Care Bowl	ACC #5	vs.	Big East	Wake Forest	vs.	Connecticut
	Chick-fil-A Bowl	ACC #2	vs.	SEC #3/4/5	Clemson	vs.	Auburn
	Independence Bowl	Big 12 #6	vs.	SEC #8	Colorado	vs.	Alabama
	Sun Bowl	Pac-10 #3	vs.	Big 12 #5/Big East	Oregon St.	vs.	South Florida
	Music City Bowl	ACC #5/6	vs.	SEC #6/7	Florida St.	vs.	Kentucky
	Holiday Bowl	Pac-10 #2	vs.	Big 12 #3	Arizona St.	vs.	Texas
	Emerald Bowl	Pac-10 #4/5	vs.	ACC #5/6/7	California	vs.	Georgia Tech

	Alamo Bowl	Big 12 #4/5	vs.	Big Ten #4	Texas A&M	vs.	Penn State
	Texas Bowl	Big 12 #7	vs.	C-USA #3/4	TCU	vs.	Houston
	Humanitarian Bowl	WAC #1	vs.	ACC #8	Boise St.	vs.	Maryland
	Insight Bowl	Big 12 #5	vs.	Big Ten #6	Oklahoma St.	vs.	Purdue
	Champs Sports Bowl	Big Ten #5	vs.	ACC #4	Indiana	vs.	Boston College
	Motor City Bowl	MAC #1/2	vs.	Big Ten #7	Central Michigan	vs.	Michigan St.
	Hawai'I Bowl	C-USA	vs.	WAC #2	East Carolina	vs.	Fresno St.
	Armed Forces Bowl	MWC	vs.	Pac-10	Air Force	vs.	UCLA
	Las Vegas Bowl	Pac-10 #4/5	vs.	MWC #1	Oregon	vs.	BYU
	Poinsettia Bowl	MWC	vs.	At-Large/Navy	Utah	vs.	Navy
	GMAC Bowl	MAC #1/2	vs.	C-USA #2	Bowling Green	vs.	Tulsa
	New Orleans Bowl	Sun Belt #1	vs.	C-USA #5	Troy	vs.	Memphis
	PapaJohns.com Bowl	C-USA #3/4	vs.	Big East/MAC	Southern Miss	vs.	Cincinnati
	New Mexico Bowl	WAC #3	vs.	MWC	Nevada/Louisiana Tech	vs.	New Mexico

A few interesting possible games here:

- I love the idea of Kansas playing Arkansas. Somehow it should be like a "loser leaves town" match from the old-time wrestling days. Maybe the loser should have to change their name to "Lesser Kansas" for the next year.
- USC vs. Illinois in the Rose Bowl would be fabulous, just because the pre-game hype would turn into a contest to see which coach gets the most "don't let the laid-back approach fool you" stories written about him. Plus, plenty of opportunities for Ron Zook to go water-skiing!
- Any battle between Troy and Memphis might turn into an actual historical war!
- Colorado vs. Alabama: Dan Hawkins vs. Nick Saban. Something has to give. I'm not sure what, but something...

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 4:28 PM 4 comments  

Ricardo Mayorga is a People Person

Nicaraguans love their sports heroes. And perhaps no native son has had more success on the world sports stage than three-time world boxing champion Ricardo Mayorga. So, he should be the people's champion, right? Wrong. Why? Because he's a really, really tremendous asshole.

Nicaraguans are so ashamed of Mayorga's boorish behavior (smoking and eating friend chicken at weigh-ins, arrogance, being a foul-mouthed punk and starting fights at press conferences, etc.) that they celebrated in the streets of Managua and set of rockets after he lost to Oscar de la Hoya. To repeat to hammer home the point, they were celebrating a victory by Oscar de la Hoya - no Hispanic person that I'm aware of in the US has ever done this before.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:03 AM 0 comments  

Stay Classy, Jets Fans

If there was going to be a story about football fans sexual harassing, spitting on and otherwise abusing female fans at the game, it makes sense it was going to be Jets fans. In their own way, they are just as boorish and obnoxious as Raider fans. But while Raider fans spend their time stabbing fans of opposing teams, Jets fans occupy themselves with chanting for women in the concession area to expose themselves.

My favorite quote in the story is about the one woman who did flash the crowd during last week's game:

Denisse Rivera, a 23-year-old from the Bronx, was on a first date Sunday. When she arrived at the crowd at Gate D, several men pointed at her, signaling men at all levels to chant in her direction. After a brief moment of hesitation, she flashed them. Then she took a bow.

“I don’t care,” Rivera said when told that video clips of previous incidents, taken on cellphones, ended up online. “I love my body and I like what I have, so let everybody share it.”

Two security guards soon approached Rivera. The guards warned her about indecent exposure laws, she said, and let her go.

That, my friends, is an interesting first date. Of course, if you're the guy whose first date flashed hundreds of guys at the Jets game, you had better get lucky that night. Otherwise, I'd recommend that you quit dating altogether - you've officially lost at dating and suck at life.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 9:50 AM 2 comments  

Handicapabling Challenge Week 4: All-NFL Edition

I wish I could say I was doing this because I had five particularly great NFL picks. The honest truth is that there has been a bad virus running through The Duke's family, and this is my first chance to make picks. No explanations, just picks...

- Cincinnati (-3) vs. Arizona
- Oakland (+4.5) at Minnesota
- Tampa Bay (-3) at Atlanta
- Detroit (-2.5) vs. NY Giants
- Buffalo (+16) vs. New England

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 4:00 PM 0 comments  

Breaking News: Bonds Provides Nation with Collective Moment of Schadenfreude

If you haven't heard yet, Barry Bonds has been indicted by a federal grand jury on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. If convicted, he could face up to 30 years in jail.

I haven't had time to digest this yet, so bear with me before I give you my ill-informed hard-hitting opinions on everything. Although I would like to point out that I find it interesting that President Bush issued a statement that he was "very disappointed to hear this". This from the same guy whose Texas Rangers, while he was managing partner, traded for Jose Canseco, and also had Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro on the roster.

Mainly this is friendly warning to avoid ESPN for at least the next 48 hours as I'm sure they are on "BREAKING NEWS RED ALERT CRITICAL MASS" level with their coverage right about now.

Note: Maybe Bonds should take a closer look at that contract offer from the Washington Wild Things of the independent Frontier League. It might be as good as it gets next season.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 3:28 PM 1 comments  

What Not to Watch: 11/15/07

Keeping you informed of the worst sports viewing choices possible (all times Pacific):

• NBA Vault (NBATV, 5:30 p.m.) - Highlights of old basketball games? Probably not watching that. But if it was, say, Yao Ming on a gymnastics vault attempted to land a Double twisting Yurchenko? That I'd pay to watch.
• College Basketball, Stanford @ Northwestern (Big 10 Network, 6 p.m.) - It's like if the kids from Pacific Tech faced off against The Lambda Lambda Lambdas on the hardwood. Except probably with less randy hijinx.
• Summit's High Places (6:30 p.m., Outdoor Channel) - Sadly, this show does not revolve around is the Tennessee women's basketball coach reminiscing about that time she ripped a massive bong load with Nancy Lieberman and Ann Meyers-Drysdale out in back of the Women's Basketball Hall of Fame.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 3:06 PM 0 comments  

LA Clippers Cheerleader Makes Half-Court Shot

As found on Deadspin.com...needless to say, the crowd was sort of pumped up...

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 10:50 AM 0 comments  

Indians Team Officials "Really Fucking Thrilled" with Sabathia's Cy Young

CLEVELAND - Immediately after Cleveland hurler C.C. Sabathia was named AL Cy Young winner this afternoon, Indians team officials held a press conference to express their sentiments over their pitcher's recognition. Even though their words conveyed excitement over the honor, their tone and actions left many reporters questioning the veracity of their statements.

Sabathia was named AL Cy Young winner over Boston Red Sox ace Josh Beckett. Cy Young voting occurs before the post-season begins, which might have been lucky for Sabathia. He was 1-2 with an 8.80 ERA in four post-season starts for the Indians before they were knocked out of the playoffs by the Red Sox. Meanwhile, Beckett was stellar in the playoffs, going 4-0 with a 1.20 ERA.

"Yeah, C.C. really showed what a 'big game' pitcher he was this season," said Indians GM Mark Shaprio, using "air quotes" the first of several times during the press conference. "You could say that, in a sense, there is no way our seasons could have ended the way it did with his 'performance' when it mattered most."

Cleveland manager Eric Wedge deflected a question on whether he would trade Sabathia for Beckett if he could.

"Oh, of course not," Wedge said. "Why would I want to switch out a guy who is great in the regular season for one of the best post-season pitchers in history? It's all about what you accomplish in the regular season against teams like Tampa Bay, Baltimore and Kansas City that counts, right?"

Wedge then concluded by making a stroking motion with his right hand near his crotch that appeared to mimic masturbation while rolling his eyes and making a "raspberry" with his mouth.

Posted by The Duke of Everything at 11:34 PM 1 comments