Big Huge Labs has a fun program where you can make your own "Motivational" poster. You know, the one that your cheesy boss has of a rock climber that says something like "Endurance: Having the grit to hang tough"? So I thought, there are certainly some posters that could be made involving athletes in the news.
| Brett Favre: |
 |
| Danica Patrick: |
 |
| Kimbo Slice: |
 |
DETROIT – Hall of Fame running back Barry Sanders, the NFL’s third all-time leading rusher, announced his plans for a comeback at the age of 41 today at a sparsely-attended press conference. Football journalists agreed that while the Sanders’ surprising announcement was “somewhat interesting,” it paled in comparison to reports anticipating Brett Favre’s first preseason game with the Minnesota Vikings.
At Sanders’ press conference, he possibly stated his reasons for coming back to the league 11 years after his shocking retirement at the age of 30. Reports of what exactly was said are unclear, as the only reporter to attend Friday’s press conference was a reporter from Examiner.com, who only asked questions relating to Brett Favre. The only footage of the conference was shown during a 10-second clip on ESPN and was apparently shot by Sanders’ agent.
“So I’m, umm, coming back,” Sanders tentatively said to the conference room full of reporter. “I never thought I would be back, but the amazing journey I’ve been on the last year has made me…seriously, do I even have to finish this thing?”
“I guess it’s pretty cool that Barry Sanders is coming back,” said Sports Illustrated and NBC NFL expert Peter King. “But let’s face it: he’s just not as sexy as Brett Favre. I mean, he’s only retired once? Give me a break! By the way, I’ve got an exclusive interview with Brett Favre’s podiatrist today that gives you some incredible news about his footwear plans for this season. You won’t believe what kind of socks he’s wearing!”
ESPN football analyst Chris Mortensen said that it will be interesting to track the impact Sanders’ comeback has this season.
“I think the most important question is: how will Barry Sanders coming back effect Brett Favre?” Mortensen said. “He’ll be facing the Vikings twice this season, so it will be interesting to see if Favre can overcome this obstacle and lead his team to two improbable victories over the Lions.”
Mortensen said that Sanders’ picked “a bad season” to attempt a comeback, since it was likely to be overshadowed by important news such as Favre’s comeback, Plaxico Burress’ sentencing on gun charges and Michael Vick’s return to the NFL.
However, Sanders’ comeback is not the only major NFL to get lost in the hype surrounding Brett Favre. There are other major stories that Mortensen notes “might have been underreported” so far this preseason, but Mortensen insists there are good reasons. They include:
NEW YORK - New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre was arrested early Friday morning on weapons charges after an incident at a Times Square Apleebee's. Police say that Favre had a concealed hunting rifle at the restaurant which accidentally went off as he was getting up to use the restroom, grazing a server in the thigh and fatally injuring a Triple Chocolate Meltdown cake being delivered to a nearby table.
Police say Favre's rifle, a Winchester Model 70, was unlicensed in New York, with Favre telling police before being taken into custody that he's "pretty sure" he had a license in his home state of Mississippi somewhere.
According to witnesses, Favre "wasn't fooling anyone" by trying to hide his rifle.
"He had it shoved down his pants and tucked under his shirt, but it was so long that the barrel was still a good two feet out of his back," said a waitress identified by his name tag as Randy. "I don't know how he missed blasting himself in the back of the head when it went off. Normally there's no way we would have let someone with such an obvious weapon in, but, I mean, this was Brett Favre."
NFL commentator John Madden said that Favre's actions immediately following the incident showed his "unique style" of leadership.
"From the way he tried to pretend that the gunshot didn't come from his back, to how he tried to go to the bathroom and stash the rifle in the trash can, that's total Brett Favre," Madden said. "I mean, he was in total control of the situation, even telling the police officers which station to take him to right before he signed autographs for everyone. If that isn't a gamer, I don't know what is."
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said the league would consider suspending Favre "pending factors such as the outcome of his criminal trial, and after his future retirement."
During an interview on WFAN-AM in New York earlier in the week about the arrest of New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress, Favre told a host that "if a deer comes into the door frame of my house, I am going to kill him or her, as simple as that."
GULFPORT, MISSISSIPPI - At a hastily-called press conference outside of his home, Brett Favre today announced that he had signed his letter asking the NFL for reinstatement, and that he planned on mailing it in as soon as he could find a stamp.
"I've turned this damned place upside down looking for a stamp, and I ain't got anything," Favre said. "Maybe if you reporters had one, maybe in your wallets or purses, that would be a big help."
Favre said he looked in every place in his house for stamps, as well as the glove compartments of his family cars. Although he was unsuccessful in finding stamps, Favre did find a Super Bowl in his kitchen junk drawer.
"I wonder which one this is?," Favre asked. "I bet it's the one against Atlanta - to tell you the truth, that win didn't mean all that much."
Favre said that he had even gone on the US Postal Service Web site, after his friend Bucky told him that you could buy postage there. However, after 45 minutes, Favre abandoned the attempt.
"It was pretty confusing - you had to feed the envelope into the printer a certain way for it to print the postage on, and I'm no good with that sort of thing," he said. "What if they print up the wrong postage, and it gets sent back to me. It's better if I can just find a stamp."
Hopes had been raised in the Favre household earlier in the morning when a stamp booklet was found in a bedroom dresser drawer. However, those hopes were quickly dashed when it was discovered that the booklet was empty.
Later in the afternoon, ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that Favre had found a mostly full booklet of 29 cent stamps, but was unsure if using two of those stamps would cause the post office not to deliver it because of "over-postaging it." There were also unconfirmed reports that Favre had attempted to remove a stamp from a received envelope with steam.
Favre said that as a last resort he would go into town to buy a stamp at the post office. However, he was relucant to do so, as this would likely lead to his wife "having me run errands and do a bunch of shopping and stuff. Nag, nag, nag - why do you think I'm so desperate to come back?"
GREEN BAY, WI - Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre today expressed amazement to close friends that teammate Aaron Rodgers is falling for his elaborate "retirement" practical joke.
"Every year after the season ends, I get him all wound up, thinking that maybe this year will be the year that he gets to take over," Favre told a group of close friends at a Green Bay TGI Fridays. "I think he was starting to catch on, so I had to amp things up a little bit after this season. But man oh man, is he falling for it hook, line and sinker."
According to Favre, only a small number of people know about his prank, and Green Bay head coach Mike McCarthy is not one of them.
"I feel bad about keeping secrets from Coach, but I just couldn't take the risk of him slipping up and spilling the beans," Favre said. "Plus, he's probably already making his plans for how to run the offense with Aaron, and who his back-up ups are going to be - all the better to sell the plan."
Favre has apparently already worked out how to spring the reveal of the prank on Rodgers. Without going into detail with his friends, he did say that "when I take off my fake mustache and tear-away janitor outfit with my uniform underneath, Aaron is going to lose it. I can't wait to see the look on his face!"
BRISTOL, CT - ESPN moved into high-gear on Tuesday, planning exclusive wall-to-wall coverage after the announcement of the retirement of the Packers' current quarterback paved the way for the beginning of the Aaron Rodgers Era in Green Bay.
"Over the next 24 hours, ESPN is going to be your go-to source for coverage of this historic moment in NFL history," said Norby Williamson, ESPN Executive Vice President, Studio and Remote Production. "You can pretty much call us Aaron Rodgers Central at this point."
Coverage highlights include: round-the-clock SportsCenters with the latest news about Aaron Rodgers' ascension to the starting QB job in Green Bay; interviews with friends and family reminiscing about Rodgers' childhood in Chico, CA; a SportsNation poll asking if Rodgers is in the Top Five NFL quarterbacks today; and segments comparing Rodgers against other first-round draft picks in an historical context. ESPN Classic is also suspending all scheduling programming today (boxing, poker, American Gladiators) for a 24 hour marathon of Rodgers' greatest games while at Cal, including one that his team actually won.
Time permitting, Williamson said that the network would talk with Brett Favre, the quarterback Rodgers is replacing.
"We've found that ESPN viewers are young and edgy, and care more about 'Who's Now" than old, retiring players," Williamson said. "But, if we have time, we'd like to get this guy's take on if Aaron Rodgers is going to be as good as the best quarterback in Packers history, or if he might even be better than Bart Starr."
You should have seen a lot of updates from me this past weekend, as there was a lot of sports on tap, and despite my being on vacation in Monterey with my family, a lot of sports that I watched. However, you can thank the IT department that administers the "free" WiFi at the Ramada Inn for your lack of updates. When the Internets isn't working on Saturday, and you call the technical support number, and their answer is "uh, I guess we'll trying restarting the server?", you probably are going to be without the wireless Interweb for the rest of the weekend.
So, Let's recap some of the weekend's news stories, in a pithy yet easy-to-digest format:
Let's get the big thing out of the way: Eli Manning is starting the Super Bowl. If you could go back to your past self, say, six weeks ago, and try to explain this to him/her, they would probably shoot you on sight, since clearly you aren't from the future but from Bizarro World.
Perhaps the most bizarre thing out of all of this is that Eli Manning led not one, but two potentially game-winning drives on Sunday, putting the Giants in position to kick the game-winning field goal. And both times the Giants fucked that up, thanks to Lawrence "Norwood" Tynes. AND SOMEHOW THEY STILL WON THE GAME! Albeit, not with a third game-winning drive by Eli - that's just asking too much - but thanks to a dumb throw by Brett Favre.
Which - no surprise - wasn't the only bad throw he made on Sunday. And - no surprise - Joe Buck and Troy Aikman seemed unwilling or just unable to point out. If it wasn't for the fact that RW McQuarters apparently eats a pound of bacon with his bare hands on the sidelines before taking the field (leading to two fumbles), the Giants wouldn't have needed overtime, and it would have been thanks to Brett Favre's poor decisions. (Not to mention the two or three times he threw lame ducks into triple coverage and got away with no being picked off).
Here's the weird part: in the second half, every time Eli Manning went back to pass, you expected something good to happen. Maybe he would get a completion, or a receiver would draw a flag. But you had that same feeling of inevitability that you usually get from his brother, or Tom Brady or...Brett Favre.
How did this happen? Has any QB ever made such huge strides in such a short period of time? It was just midseason that Eli was throwing interceptions like they were butterscotch candies from the Shriners' float at the local parade. Now he's suddenly Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas and John Elway all rolled into one.
As for the other championship game: that went about like everyone expected. The Chargers were able to move the ball fairly well, especially considering that their QB was apparently playing while missing an ACL. Which you kind of need. And their star running back still had all of his various ligaments in his knee, but one of them was bruised so he sat out most of the game. Which, in comparison, kind of makes him a giant pussy.
The Pats did what they've done the whole second half of the season: let a lesser team stick around, and just when it gets interesting...drive, touchdown, game out of reach, yawn. I'm actually sitting here thinking to myself, "Wow, they can't do that against the Giants - Eli will burn them if they let him hang around." And my mind was just blown.
And, oh yeah, USC beat UCLA in basketball. Men's basketball. At UCLA. Which, in the face of Eli Manning starting in the Super Bowl, doesn't seem that odd at all.
