You know why baseball is dying with kids in America? Not because of the popularity of other sports, or steroid scandals, or kids playing video games instead of going outside. No, it's because they don't have quality entertainment like "The Baseball Bunch". If you don't remember it (and if you're an adult male in my age group, how could you not?), "The Baseball Bunch" was a half-hour baseball show for kids that ran weekend mornings (usually before the Game of the Week in my market - check your local listings from the early 1980s for times and channels). It was hosted by Johnny "Krylon" Bench, and the idea was that he would teach a group of kids (The Baseball Bunch) the fundamentals of the game with the help of guest stars - i.e. baseball players like Mike Schmidt, Ozzie Smith and more. The San Diego Chicken was there to provide the comedy, while Tommy Lasorda was there as "The Dugout Wizard" to help scare the kids away from talking to creepy old men.
I watched every week when I was a kid. Usually I picked up some tip that I could use in my Little League game that week, whether it was Cal Ripken showing how to pivot to turn the double play, or Keith Hernandez teaching you...I don't know, how to grow a mustache. At any rate, it was pretty educational.
(Side note: did you know that Lou Pinella's career ended when he injured his rotator cuff while being pitched to by the San Diego Chicken on the show? It's on Wikipedia, so it must be true...)
As for the humor...well, it was on par with something like "You Can't Do That on Television" - it worked for me when I was 7, but it probably doesn't hold up quite as well today. However, don't tell Johnny Bench that, as watching the San Diego Chicken peel potatoes is apparently the funniest thing he's seen since Dave Concepcion put cayenne peppers in Joe Morgan's jock. Watch this and wait for the end, when the Chicken takes a shot in his...err...eggs:
I hope next week's episode involved The Dugout Wizard talking to the kids about the importance of wearing a cup at all times. Actually, scratch that - the thought of an old man in a bad Merlin outfit lecturing kids on proper equipment for their privates is just wrong.
1 comment:
It's worth mentioning the Duke once hit a wiffle ball harder than any wiffle ball has ever been hit directly at my junk.
Blasted is not the word, it doesn't do it justice.
I thought it cut my dick off.
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