What's more bizarre than professional bass fishing? Obviously, some people are better at it than others, I guess, but seriously? It's a sport for people who find bowling too physically demanding and requires being too sober. It's taking something that 99.9 percent of people do to relax and unwind and turning into a competitive sport. It's like Speed Knitting for redneck males.
The best part is the weigh-in after the fishing is over. Everyone steps up to the scales and weighs their catch. They try to make it seem as "rock show" as possible, with blaring music, pyrotechnics, etc., when really, it's about as exciting as buying 1 1/2 pounds of asparagus at the store.
So how could you take something that's already goofy as hell and make it even more...strange? What's that little push over the cliff? How do you take it to 11?
Answer: Fantasy Fishing. Yes, you can now pick your 10 favorite anglers and watch them earn points in the seven pro fishing tour events this year to get your share of the $7.3 million in prizes. Which I couldn't believe could possibly be true...until I saw who they have as their spokesperson for Fantasy Fishing:
Yes, because when I think of Fantasy Bass Fishing, I think of Hulk Hogan. The promoter running the Fantasy Fishing contest said he chose Hogan because "the most recognizable face in the world." Which may be true, if only because looking at the Hulkster's face now, I think anyone in the world can recognize an old catcher's mitt when they see it.
Although the promoter did mention that "somebody's going to become a millionaire staying home watching fishing." Which does make Hogan a fine fit to be spokesperson: anyone who is familiar with Hogan's final years in WCW and WWE knows that no one is better suited to talk about sitting at home and collecting large sums of money.
2 comments:
kevin vandam is the shit! last year i was laid up at home from some surgery and watched the bass master classic. i found it to be fun to watch. do you think they get hard ons when they pull the big one out of the water? they are always way to excited.
Do you have any idea how impressed I am that you included a knitting link? Nice job.
Post a Comment